Again

Dedicated to I_IS_ME

Go slow.  Very slow.  So slow.
This isn't easy for me.
I have to start and stop...
when you're inside of me.

I have to realize...that YOU
never hurt me. It was so many others...
but it wasn't you...at least not yet.
Sorry I screamed.  Sorry it made you limp.

Don't go!  Please.  PLEASE DON'T GO!
Hold me.  Kiss me.  Let me lead.
I want you.  I really do.
This isn't easy for me!

I have scars.  Scars upon scars.
All my scars are ugly.  Inside and out.
PLEASE DON'T GO!  Maybe...maybe...
you're my future?  My Mr. RIght. Hold me.

Can we start again? I think I can...
How about I play dead?  I'm sorry...
Playing dead usually works.
Or screaming, "No don't!"  I'm sorry.

PLEASE DON'T GO!  That will break me!
Victims need to be loved!  I want -
to be loved so bad!  I have never had love.
Love me tender. Love me sweet.

Never let me go.  You laughed.
Let's try again...please?  Please.
I guess not.  I guess not.  I'm sorry.
I'm so so so very sorry.

Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.
My ugly scarred body and scarred mind
just go numb.  My pants are off.
His are on.  He's gone.  He left.