Dog Killer Dog

After a year of putting up with
tiny bitch dogs and owner nonsense -
I decided to go down in a blaze of glory.
Since I was being labeled a BAD DOG!

The tiny teacup doggy girls were in heat
But only the human mom was close
to my size to do the deed.  I was also
hungry for fatty human daddy brisket.

Remember, I'm the sickly dog they were
talking of putting down.  So, I decided that
the girls could be my fur lined gloves -
As I fought the law and the law won!

Bad dog!  Soon to be public canine enemy #1.
NY doesn't execute killers or sex offenders
but let a furry guy named Dog draw blood -
and it's time for LETHAL INJECTION!

How did I get this smart?  Paper training.
I'll spare you the gore and mucky details.
The house needed a carpet cleaning. Ma needed a douche+ and Pa a pine box!

And when I was done, I donned my teacup
tiny fur gloves and nosed 911 on Pa's cell.
I waited in the yard for 2 hours and -
NY law enforcement never showed.

There must have been a donut sale
near the downtown precinct!  Assessing
my options I ran like Hell!  I didn't know
where my next meal would come from -
or who would take care of me!!!

I hoped I wouldn't have to identify as a cat!
Or worse...a skunk!  Then I saw the boy!
NO I DIDN'T EAT HIM!  WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?  Oh yeah, sorry, I did just fill up on Pa!!!

I decide to do stupid dog tricks.  Roll and take the kid a stick.  He threw it.  He was trained!
We played a bit and he walked me back to
his place and there was a bit of petting!

NOT THAT KIND OF PETTING!!!  That's it!
FINISHING UP!  He asked his Dad if
He could keep me! And unlike the movies -
The guy said, "Sure kid.  Just get me a beer!"

You know this isn't the end of my story, yet.  
But it won't go past a trilogy! I'm guessing
that they will find and kill me.  No happy ending in sight for Dog!!!

Yep, that's my name. Dog Killer Dog.