A Free Choice

Now that I know I'm worthy, now that I know I want to freely choose, I'm no longer in the position of the chaser.
 
I'm in the position of the chooser. The one who chooses to heal alone no matter how hard that is and wants to choose a man later on not based on shame, or the fact we have a history together, or the fact I truly think there's no one else.
 
But because I know it's a choice that will respect me and honor me.
 
I don't want Josh if he's going to be this way and just ghost me. I know I deserve better.
 
I know there's nothing to truly worry about because what's meant to be mine will be.
 
I don't want to make a haste decision in such a vulnerable state where I'm still processing everything. This is going to be hard, but not as hard now that I know my worth.
 
I want to be an artist and be financially stable before having sex again. I know I'm fickle as fuck, but I have to try and stick to this.
 
My brain will try to trick me at every corner, and I have to accept solitude. Maybe it was good Josh left. Because I need me more anything right now.