it feels like...

It's the dry grass crackle
under bare feet
in the middle of summer

It's lightning cracking
on an empty horizon
lighting up the world

It's the tap tap tap of rain
on an unseen window
on a gloomy day

It's the smell of rot
when the storm stays too long
and the weeds bloom as the grass dies

It's the feeling of my fingernails
worrying a scab on my arm
that I refuse to let heal

It's eyes closed against
the beauty of today because
the ugly tells me I don't deserve it

It's waking up alone
and believing every moment
is just like this

It's missed calls and unanswered texts

It's the dreadlocks in my hair

It's a sink full of dirty dishes

It's the belief that I'll never be enough
because you said so
like you know anything at all

It's the absence of an apology

It's what karma doesn't look like

It's the obliterating realisation
that the world isn't fair
(even though we knew this)

It's the dry grass crackle
under bare feet
in the middle of summer
and the scratches left behind