Cuts people don't see

In crowded rooms, I wander free,
A sea of faces pass me by,
Yet, I'm alone, lost at sea,
My soul drowning, unable to deny.

I grasp for relief, a fleeting reprieve,
With every cut, a scream I try to leave,
But like autumn leaves, emotions fall away,
And I'm left with nothing but disarray.

Seasons change, and I wear a grin,
A mask that hides the emptiness within,
The laughter echoes, hollow and unkind,
Longing for feelings I've left behind.

I call out to a higher power above,
Praying for solace, for endless love,
To ease this pain that gnaws inside,
To guide me through life's ebb and tide.

Day by day, I search for an escape,
From this weight that presses down, a constant ache,
But words spoken by others, though kind and true,
Are lost on me, like whispers anew.

Their meaning shrouded, unclear and gray,
Leaves me bewildered, night and day,
I sit alone, with only my thoughts to bear,
And wonder why I'm trapped in this empty air.

Head shaking, with each word unspoken,
Screams silenced, my heart forever broken,
Still, I hold on to hope's thin thread,
And pray someday, I'll find my way ahead.