deepundergroundpoetry.com
Death Banging At My Door
I'm ill yet I get blamed.
I'm a dog who gets kicked
and then is blamed by the kickers when I can't get up.
I have chronic illness. Mental and physical.
They say schizoaffective people don't live long.
Add CPTSD and shorten my lifespan more, why don't ya?
And add the fact that I have PCOS to the point of having to get a blood transfusion.
Add throwing up for over 3 weeks at a time, even right now. Being bed bound.
It is no wonder why I'm angry that Josh didn't save me. He didn't save me.
I'm supposed to save myself. "It is all my fault. I have to save myself," they say.
No, I FUCKING don't.
I'm a dog who gets kicked
and then is blamed by the kickers when I can't get up.
I have chronic illness. Mental and physical.
They say schizoaffective people don't live long.
Add CPTSD and shorten my lifespan more, why don't ya?
And add the fact that I have PCOS to the point of having to get a blood transfusion.
Add throwing up for over 3 weeks at a time, even right now. Being bed bound.
It is no wonder why I'm angry that Josh didn't save me. He didn't save me.
I'm supposed to save myself. "It is all my fault. I have to save myself," they say.
No, I FUCKING don't.
Published 22nd Nov 2024
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22nd Nov 2024 12:21pm
The hate can keep death away for a minute as long as you do not let it consume you.
22nd Nov 2024 2:29pm
