Confined: Daddy Wasn't There To Save Me scene

Author's Note: Hey guys this is a scene from my memoir, Confined. To explain it a little bit, this is something that takes place early in my friendship with J or Jason. I invited him to my car one while we were at work as parking attendants. I just wanted us to sit more comfortably, but something about it didn't feel right at all, and I couldn't understand why.

Here are important questions I want answered or critiqued around:

1. How do I insert this in the story? Should I tell the story as I've told it before, like nothing is wrong and then tell this later? What is a good way to tell the story from when he came in my life to when he left it?

2. Do you think the last line about "Daddy" not being there "to save me" could be interpreted as alluding to the fact that he may have sexually abused me and was a pig too? And that he's dead? Because this is all something that is mentioned sometime in the story.


We sat there in my car with nothing to say. Tension. Nothing but tension and silence. I don't know why, but with J, that night, I couldn't stay in that car. Looking back, I wonder, did I secretly want sex? Is that why I invited him to my car? Was it as innocent as just wanting to feel more comfort in a cushioned seat?

But I didn't. I felt anything but comfortable. I felt anything but safe with him.

And I didn't know why. Maybe that was the red flag that I needed to look out for.

My friend would say later that he was manipulating me the entire time to get in my pants. I wished that was how this story ended- in me possibly understanding this and knowing my worth.

But I didn't.

And Daddy wasn't there to save me.