The Things We Do to Watch Jake Paul Die

Folks arrive in their fanciest gear,
Silk socks, cufflinks, and a touch of flair,
They're all here for one reason, don't be shy,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

Concessions run out, popcorn’s in flight,
Kids on shoulders for a better sight
The buzz is real, a weh deh bredda ya a try,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

Vendors hawk merchandise with zeal,
"Jake's Last Stand" on every deal
Crowds go wild, even the shy,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

A grandma knits by the big-screen TV
Rewatching Iron Mike Tyson on CD
She's in it for the thrill, oh me oh my,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

Fans mimic his dance, a tribute, it’s true,
Some bet on how quickly Jake go rue,
The moment of truth in the referee's eye,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

The bell rings out, and they start to brawl,
Jake looks confident, standing tall
But we're all here for the final goodbye,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.

And when that punch lands, he dives,
Netflix erupts, Arena high-fives,
The hush then cheers that reach the sky,
The things we do to watch Jake Paul die.