We did something awfully wrong

A BUBBLE BUILT
I was married once before, it did not end so well,
so much went wrong on both sides, a sorry story to tell.
True love I thought was something that you only read about.
Married too young with no idea, a relationship in drought.

So I was very lucky when wife two came along,
I loved her more each passing day, my heart was full of song.
She raised me to my feet again, my faith in love restored,
we built a bubble far from home to one another sworn.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE
She shared with me what she could and gave her body freely,
but could not give her passion, no spark ignited deeply.  
I accepted this as ‘glass half full’, assumed it was her norm,  
'til later I discovered, some could release her wild firestorm.

Why does this still rankle and I do not feel whole?
I wanted not just body but craved her sexual soul.
For I believe emotions are not forever blocked,
by going through the motions, desire we may concoct.
Without success, I tried to teach some sexual techniques,
angry now to find she has the skill, but only when "in heat".

Although I worshipped her like nothing else, I then did something wrong,
left alone for many months, somebody came along.
A stupid needy man, wife's love was not enough,
lonely, missing passion, I fell into the trough.

THE FALL
So despite enormous tenderness and affections unbound,
the missing passion, affirmation, with other woman found,
not once or twice our secret tryst but over several years.
Thanks to glasses coloured rose, my wife was not aware.

Many nights I spent with X enjoying passion high,
she gave me what I craved, a woman's wildfire.
During our liaisons, I loved my wife still more,
while silently praying to hear her hidden woman’s roar.

I returned to X for many years, it helped to fill a void,
an itch that wife could not scratch, my missing asteroid.
No need to bully spouse for something she could not,
I found the missing universe, a galaxy white-hot.

It probably saved our marriage, those entrancing secret days,
a mistress super passionate, discrete in every way.
Those lustful unions through which we both knew pleasure,
the trust and close friendship, added to the treasure.

REPENTANCE
That said, I never loved her as I did my darling wife,
indeed could not cohabitate for more than a few nights.
And most of all, throughout affair, I really did feel guilt,
so better late than never I left the covert quilt.

Inspired by example of my wife’s monogamy,
I quit the mistress to restore our marriage sovereignty.
The decision to be faithful gave me peace of mind,
to emulate my wife’s devotion and her love so blind.

REVELATIONS
But mine was not the only hidden secret garden,
the truth of which would one day need my patient loving pardon.
Years would pass before I finally realised,
the wife I love has desire, buried and kept aside.

Sensing one day a great distress, I pushed for more details,
revealed to me eventually some things that left me pale.
Feelings she had long hid, for another man,
so both of us through carnal urge had crashed our caravan.

To much of what had occurred, she only would allude,
seeking the truth, with lover's wife I then did collude.
Scarce could I believe it, my ‘nice girl’ over rated,
through the phone their fantasies they had consummated.

EPIPHANY
At first I was so jealous but then my heart did swirl,
a Wild Woman deep inside, a wondrous black pearl!
Thus was revealed her Femme Sauvage that I so idolised.
it was her very womanhood, something she also prized.

THE BOMB SHELL
This knowledge gave me advantage, I now held the power,
I could have kept my secrets hid, ruling from ivory tower.
But I love this girl and did not want to be the two-faced bully,
her anguish and her honesty I knew I must share fully.

So when she finally asked me if I had ever strayed,
brutally our bubble smashed, the confession: “I had played”.
Thoughtlessly I told her all “to set the world to rights”,
but ‘twas oil to the fire, my tale of lusty nights.

Devastated, world collapsed, the man she thought she knew,
destroyed the crystal palace, her heart with lance run through.
In telling of my awful truth, I had lost The One,
my Hummingbird I had just crushed, threw night across our sun.

For me I felt a second time that awful creeping dread,
world despoiled, dispirited, my earthly soul felt dead.
The terror I might lose her thundered about my ears.
what had I done to realise my most dreaded fears?

RESURRECTION
Then something almost biblical, in hand an olive branch,
to me it was a miracle, she gave a second chance.

Perhaps because we had real love that somehow bound us fast,
maybe her secret garden, still unresolved, with more forecast.
Tolerance, forgiveness and two hearts made of gold,
at death's door the sorry sinner found himself paroled.

Perhaps because I fought so hard to fix the broken strands,
or 'cause I had forgiven and tried to understand,
helped her to find closure with the other man.
Or acknowledged and supported, so her passion did not die,
encouraged then her search for woman's lost desire.

Thus slowly tender friendship, then lovemaking returned,  
to shine upon us once again, that for which I yearned.  
In gentle whispers of the night, our hearts rekindled deep,  
with every touch and shared embrace, the love I vow to keep.

And so we march together ‘long the road to recovery.
Know each other better now and what our partner needs.
Despite ruptures and lingering doubt, I feel it was all worth it,
‘cos in my heart I still believe my wife is near-on perfect.

EPILOGUE
To the reader I must sound a principled alarm,
honesty’s a fine ideal but not when it does harm.
Unless those painful facts rejuvenate love’s seeds,
by shedding light on deep unspoken needs.

Also no such thing as perfect partner, nor relationship,
just like the other, you are flawed from toe to fingertip.
Stop with blame and in the mirror look deep upon thy soul,
are you unblemished, free of guilt, if the truth were told?

Do not seek to make them change, it’s an impossibility,
accept, forgive, blindly trust, and set the other free.
While this might seem to come with little guarantee,
the reverse is sure to destroy: control and jealousy.