I'll Put My Wager On The Lust

Depression and arousal
not always ideal partners,
these past few weeks
I want to get there
unleash my heat,
but there is that voice
getting in the way

So obvious,
scrolling through these dating sites
my imagination fired
by delights offered,
but I just keep swiping,
reservations
and that lack of confidence
holding me back

It gets me no closer
to being able to part you,
to slow kiss and harden
and to be consumed

The pressure of that milestone birthday
isn't helping...
knowing that it will pass
unnoticed,
unless I make a deal of it

But maybe I'm coming through it,
I sincerely hope
since it is Friday morning
and I woke so hard
and needy
and ready
to shove these doubts
deep in the opening
and absolve myself
of this joyless routine

I just need you
and that encouragement
to proceed,
just that sweet little phrase
"oh yes, fuck me."