The Feelings

I do this
Is it right?
Do I really care?
I use these
Just to make it fair

What am I using?
A razor?
No, thats for people who cant STAND the pain.
No tolerance for it

But I...
I DO.
I love it
I encompass it
I
EMBRACE
it.
I love the warm feeling
Of new blood seeping
Down my arm,
My leg,
My chest,
My ankle.

This feeling is desired.
Why?
Because...
It lets me


FEEL.


I like that.
Feeling.
So I prolong this task
Of "cutting"
Instead of cutting,
I CARVE.

Gracefully
Sloppily
Choppy
Elegantly

I can do it many ways.
You think I use a razor,
No.
Im more hardcore than that.
I can even use a pencil.

Yes, carve into myself so deep,
With so much pressure,
With so much pain and with it feeling...

That I can use a PENCIL to carve into my thick skin.

I do this to feel.
When I go numb
I want and I desire
Some

Cuts
Scratches,
But mostly
Carving.

For with this,
I can create things of great elegance
With something ugly,
I can make something great

I love the designs I make
They each mean a new thing to me
All meaningful
And full of feeling.

Each time I touch those scars
I remember that feeling
Of the bleeding
Of the towel soaked in blood


The feeling
Of those whom I love and hold dear

I could not live without...

These feelings...