Own It

      Own it. Omg. I’m becoming a motivational speaker. What is about me that cares so much about being the best me I can be. Also did I just use “Omg”, what the hell is happening to me. That is something I never thought I’d do, this is what using “lol” leads too. I’m not feeling very analog all the sudden.
 
      In all seriousness, folks. Every time I write in prose form, I know I’m gonna be telling some stories. Which is exciting because the possibilities are endless. I never thought I’d like the freedom this form of writing gives you. Why don’t I do this all the time?? Because it reveals my weakness of punctuation and grammar.  
 
      Until I got here and wrote would become what is now the “Backstage Show”. I had to get over my fear of writing in this format to tell my music shorts. Now I just like it as a new form of expression. Who would of thought it gives me more therapeutic qualities than poetry does.  
 
      Of course it may be the fact it just seems to last longer. Gets deeper into a subject so to speak. This somehow took a strange sexual innuendo kinda vibe in my head. Sorry, about my phrasing there. “Note to self. Pot really makes me notice my phrasing more”. I mean literally. I sometimes feel like it takes the filter off. You, follow?
 
      I was thinking if I expose and slay demons and visa-versa you do the same then that would mean our writes our are war stories. “Note to self. Pot makes you realize you might wanna reference that you are referring to the Soprano’s write you recently wrote”. This is what I deal with people every time I write on pot.
 
      My subconscious stands over my shoulder and nitpick’s at every thing I write down. It’s great for editing though. I mean if you have a few extra hours to spare on a poem, that you wrote hours ago, it does the fucking trick. Some nights I have to drop at least one F-bomb. I may be obligated to, better read my contract for the finer details.
 
      I feel like a standup comedian who can’t see, or hear the audience. Therefore I can’t read the situation very well. “There’s your problem dumbass you’re not a comedian, this is what happens when you smoke pot”. Well I’m slaying it then, or I might be bombing again, I suppose it depends on the perspective.  
 
      To be real I quit drinking a year and a half ago, I had a bad breakup with a songwriting friend who grew bitter, and makes me regret some of the past 30 years in the music world, I felt the holy spirit get involved, I found God. I started writing again. I came here. I found this community. I got to know myself again. Started Backstage show. Had a friend ask for my help.  
 
      Second chances help you see what’s real. I’m finding my identity in writing. Receiving therapy, and giving it as well. Hopefully.. I’m not alone though, there are others. Whispers of masks, and mirrors, fragmented pieces of a puzzle. Scattered along life’s highway. I’m no longer afraid. To write serious and not take myself to seriously all at the same time.
 
      “Or it could be really good pot. Like the chronic x infinity something the other”. In another life I might have been a comedian. Probably not so much. But one thing is for sure, I own it.