deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cut
Bright as a ribbon
snipped by the mayor
to a round of applause
her river ran
one sunny afternoon
taking her with it.
When she was moored again
she had butterflies
and flowers beside her bed.
The opening was closed.
She was quiet, peaceful.
When they asked her why
she whispered
because, it made me feel alive
snipped by the mayor
to a round of applause
her river ran
one sunny afternoon
taking her with it.
When she was moored again
she had butterflies
and flowers beside her bed.
The opening was closed.
She was quiet, peaceful.
When they asked her why
she whispered
because, it made me feel alive
Published 12th Sep 2024
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The author encourages honest critique.
Goodness; the economy!
My first read of you takes me right to the arterial bloodstream of your writing, O_Dee.
The reader in dark glasses sees salient similes, mortal metaphors and protruding personifications; the reader in 20-20 wants to rescue the would-be self-assassin, who has slashed her own wrist. The crimson lake she geysered to prove life has been aborted from celebrating death.
Your images are punchy, your vocabulary precise, your meaning profoundly potent.
I have enjoyed reading this first-cut.
Sincerely
cab
My first read of you takes me right to the arterial bloodstream of your writing, O_Dee.
The reader in dark glasses sees salient similes, mortal metaphors and protruding personifications; the reader in 20-20 wants to rescue the would-be self-assassin, who has slashed her own wrist. The crimson lake she geysered to prove life has been aborted from celebrating death.
Your images are punchy, your vocabulary precise, your meaning profoundly potent.
I have enjoyed reading this first-cut.
Sincerely
cab
