Hidden Island Chapter 34, part 1 of 4

Hidden Island
Chapter 34, part 1 of 4

"Bella!" A lilting woman's voice called her name from the darkness. She jolted unexpectedly at the noise, then smoothed her skirts to sweep away the spike of worry. Her heart was suddenly pounding, which annoyed her.

She sighed at her foolishness. She was still just jittery.

"Yes?" she answered back.

Jack's tent was still lit from within, and Bella threw off enough light to recognize Doctor Kalfou's form as she walked closer. The Doctor's white clothing was unmistakable in the dark. "Wanted to check on you, I," she said, stepping close enough that they could more easily see each other.

"Had any other incidents today, you?"

"That's a polite way of putting it," Bella laughed. "No. I have occasional moments, but nothing like earlier."

"Moments like what?" the Doctor asked gently.

"Oh, you know, a little burst of apprehension and worry. I'd imagine many people are having those today," Bella shrugged.

"Anxiety?" Doctor Kalfou asked. "Fear that seems new and sudden and not proportionate to the things happening?"

Bella's expression became pensive. "No, not new. It's the same, really, just more frequent today. I'm sure it will pass soon enough."

"The same?' Doctor Kalfou asked. "These feelings precede yesterday's attack?"

"Oh yes, they just get stronger for a while when dangerous things happen," Bella answered in a cheerful tone that belayed the gravity of the topic. "This is fairly normal for me. I tried to tell you that earlier."

Doctor Kalfou seemed surprised and concerned but nodded. "Seem to handle it well, you."

"I'm used to it," Bella reassured her. "I'll let you know if it gets bad again."

Doctor Kalfou wanted to keep asking more questions, but she was also glad to have less work to do. After they were safely off this island, she could push Bella further about where her long-standing fears came from—until then, letting Bella handle things how she was used to seemed fine.

"Please do," she smiled.

"Oh, I'm glad you came by!" Bella said suddenly. A conspiratorial smile played across her lips. "Earlier, you said you wanted to learn more about my practice. I'm going to be performing a ritual tonight. Want to join us?"

One of Doctor Kalfou's eyebrows lifted. "Us?"

"Will and I," Bella answered, gesturing to their tent.

"What ritual, and what would you need me to do?" Doctor Kalfou asked, sounding curious but a bit apprehensive.

"I'm only going to be gathering and storing energy. Well, transferring it too, but that's the same in this context," the witch shrugged.

"How?" Doctor Kalfou asked, sounding like she already knew the answer.

"Sex," Bella grinned.

Doctor Kalfou looked amused. "So, to be clear, I'm asking you if I want to have sex with you and with Mister Sterling?"

Bella nodded. "Mumm."

Doctor Kalfou stood in thought for a moment. Sterling did have a roguishness and competence that she found immensely attractive, and Bella was luscious. Still, there were things to consider. Bella was a patient of sorts.

So was Will until his hand healed. Would this be a breach of professional ethics? She knew her professors would say yes. She also knew her grandfather would laugh at her for worrying about it, and he was a more skilled healer than any of her old teachers could ever hope to be. Then, there was the curiosity brought on by her other profession. This was an opportunity to learn a new form of magic. She could not pass that up. "Want to, yes," she smiled. "First though, must tell you something, I."

"Tell me what?" Bella smiled, excited to see where this was going.

"Never been with a man, I," Friday admitted.

"But you want to?" Bella asked.

"Yes, but not tonight," Friday said firmly.

"Saving yourself for marriage?" Bella asked, deciding to keep her opinions on the concept of virginity to herself.

Friday laughed. "Not at all. Saving myself for the right ritual."

"I don't understand," Bella said, tilting her head in confusion.

"There is power in that blood, and it can only be gathered once," Friday explained, surprised that Bella didn't know.

"Ooooh!" Bella said, finally understanding. Then she pursed her lips in thought. "You know you don't have to bleed, right? The maidenhead is stretchy. If you're careful, it doesn't bleed at all. The whole idea that a woman's first experience with penetration is some painful right of passage is completely made up."

"Oh, yes, know that, " Friday agreed. "Misunderstand, you. Want to bleed, I."

Bella blinked, then nodded. "The power."

"Yes," Doctor Kalfu nodded. "So, not tonight."

"I know a little about that aspect of blood magic because it overlaps with my practice, but I never cared about it much," Bella tapped her chin thoughtfully. "In my practice, the first time having sex is important, and power can be gathered from it, but the blood isn't vital. I wonder where the differences come from."

"An interesting thing to discuss," Friday said. "Another time."

Bella chuckled. "Sounds good to me. Want to get ready?'

"What will we be doing?" Friday asked.

"For now, just drawing on each other, mostly," Bella said with another wide grin. She pulled open the tent flap like a doorman.

"Mostly?" Friday asked as she ducked into the tent.

Bella bit her lip in anticipation. "Mostly."

Jack sat cross-legged, naked on her bedroll, enjoying the warm summer night air on her skin and listening to the conversation outside her tent. She could hear Bella's and the Doctor's voices. She couldn't make out everything they were saying, but she knew Bella well enough to know when she was seducing someone. It was the same tone and forthright candor mixed with undisguised lust. It was what Bella had just done to Jack.

There was a part of her that loved it. It was so exciting, refreshing, and familiar. It was Bella. She remembered being always proud and excited to watch Bella expertly draw someone in. She wasn't that person anymore.

Now, hearing Bella seduce another person hurt. It reminded her of what she'd lost and the person she'd had to become.

It had taken her a very long time to get used to this new version of herself and even longer to realize that she now possessed quite a few merits that the old Jack would have considered weak. It was strange how, by forcing herself to become more challenging, she'd discovered the cracks in herself that had allowed her to become softer.

Now, she didn't know who she was.

She idly stroked the ring on her finger. That ring. The one that had changed everything. Quinn's ring. Will's ring.

The one that bound them all together. She loved it and hated it. It was her most tremendous success and her greatest failure. It was a loop of secrets.

Quinn's arms wrapped around her from behind. Anyone else would have caught an elbow in the face for that, but she could feel him. She knew he was there before he was there. She leaned back into the crook of his neck.

He tilted his head and kissed her on the temple.

"You are troubled," he rumbled.

"I don't know what to do," Jack sighed.

"Mister Sterling or Miss Fortuna?" Quinn asked.

"Both. Bella, currently. Will and I did fine today. It keeps flip-flopping. One will be supportive, and the other will get mad. I think it's the island," Jack said, talking half to herself.

"I do not understand," Quinn said.

"On the ship, things felt normal and safe. So, after I pushed him a little, Will was willing to say what was on his mind, which led to a great deal of... discomfort. I expected it. Honestly, it was a good start. Bella knew that, and I think she decided to keep what she was feeling mostly to herself so she could support both of us and not give me both barrels simultaneously," Jack said, talking out her thoughts.

"Kind of her," Quinn said.

Jack nodded and let her stream of consciousness continue. "Now it's the opposite. This island is dangerous, so
Will isn't talking about our problems. He's being cordial and professional. Now, it's a job. There's no place for bickering when you need to work with someone to survive.

Bella isn't like that. This isn't anything she's used to, so she's stressed and trying to find something to do with that tension. She's looking for support and a fight. With her, nearly everything is connected to sex in some way or another, so that's mixed into both issues. It is all very tangled."

"Which is the source of your current troubles," Quinn said softly.

"It has been an emotionally trying few days," Jack laughed mirthlessly.

"And now?" Quinn prodded.

"Now we have to have sex to fuel Bella's magic so she can do some kind of divination in the morning before Will and I head out," Jack explained.

"That does not sound terrible," Quinn said, a hint of joy in his stoic tone.

Jack sighed. "It just feels so separate now. She was here. There was so much... wanting. A closeness I'd missed so much was finally there again.

Then she left, and now her desire is aimed at someone else, and mine is still aimed at her but unable to reach her."

"Jealousy," Quinn said.

"Maybe. I don't know. I think it is more like envy. I don't wish Bella wasn't doing what she's doing, and I'm not upset at the people receiving her attention. I wish I could be part of it," Jack said bitterly. She leaned forward a bit and rubbed her temples.

"This is closer than you were," Quinn reminded her. He reached forward with his strong hands and took over the work she'd started, rubbing his strong fingertips into her scalp.

"That makes it worse. It is so much harder to ignore now," Jack swallowed. She relaxed, holding her face up as his fingers pulled the tension out.

"Is this not what you wanted?" Quinn asked.

"It is. I feel like all of us are taking steps in the right direction. I want it to move faster," Jack said bitterly. "This is the hard part."

"The most satisfying victories are the hardest to win," Quinn advised, moving his hands to her shoulders, massaging with the skill of a practiced expert.

Jack huffed out a small laugh. "Why do I find your insufferable warrior poet nonsense so endearing?"

"Because it is," Quinn said.

Jack turned around, squirming into his embrace and straddling his hips. He helped lift her and settle her, his supernaturally strong hands lifting from beneath her toned thighs. "Careful of all the artwork,' Jack said, gesturing to the sigils Bella had drawn on her body. Quinn nodded.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly. "You never judge me."

"I do judge you. I judge everyone," Quinn corrected. "You most of all."

Jack rested her forehead against his. "Well, you never make me feel like you are judging me. You're always supportive and let me make my own choices."

"How could I judge you properly if I were making your choices for you?" Quinn asked, beginning to massage her neck and shoulders again.

Jack sighed and relaxed into his touch; her brow rose as something dawned on her. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Never, Mistress," Quinn said, his black eyes revealing a faint mischief. "I simply want you to have a full understanding so your choices are informed."

"So you can judge me?" Jack said, a challenge in her voice.

"Yes," Quinn said with a small smile.

His fingers probed her tense shoulder blades, threatening to distract her, but she remained focused. She glared at him for a moment, then stopped.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out momentarily. Then she shook her head. "How did you do that?"

"You will have to be more specific," Quinn said.

"Make me feel better!" Jack laughed.

"I am a well-practiced masseur," Quinn said.

"Not that," Jack said in exasperation. "My mood."

"Ah. Yes. I have noticed you react well to challenge," Quinn said. "So I challenged you."

"You did?" Jack's brow furrowed. "When?"

Quinn: "You claimed I do not judge. I informed you of the contrary, and I challenged your statement."

Jack rolled her eyes. "That's all?"

"Yes," Quinn said.

"I am that easy to manipulate?" Jack asked, her tone challenging but a bit afraid to hear the answer.

"Sometimes," Quinn admitted.

"Alright. Why now? What makes me so easy to manipulate, currently?' Jack asked, suddenly curious and still feeling a bit contrary.

"Your convictions are not firm, Mistress," Quinn explained.

"Use more words," Jack said, a hint of command in her voice. "A lot more."

"Some of this is conjecture. I did not, and do not, know your mind completely," Quinn prefaced. "Jealousy is out of character for you. I suspect you do not believe your feelings are justified but were indulging in the melancholy because you feel you deserve it."

Jack slowly raised one eyebrow. "Keep going."

"You still feel the need to punish yourself. You frequently look for reasons to do so. When you cannot find reasons born out of convictions, you find reasons born out of interpersonal relationships. You do not bear Miss Bella or Mister Sterling any ill will, so when you say things about them that harbor resentment, I know they are not things you truly believe."

"You don't think I'm jealous, so it was easy to distract me from feeling that way?" Jack summarized.

"Yes, Mistress," Quinn concurred.

"By challenging me? About something... pointless," Jack huffed out a laugh.

"Something without consequence," Quinn corrected.

Jack looked down at Quinn's chest, thinking for a moment. "That's the clincher. I'm so tired of consequences."

"Yet, you are still strongly motivated by challenge," Quinn elaborated.

"I'm still impressed it took so little," Jack said. "I didn't know you were allowed to contradict me like that."

"I would only presume to contradict when I believe doing so is the best way to serve you," Quinn said.

"How does tricking me out of feeling bad serve my goals?" Jack asked.

"I have observed that for many humans, guilt manifests as self-loathing. In some humans, those feelings inspire the desire to change. Admirable humans succeed in changing, but without fail, the transition from guilt to change requires a reinvention of the self. During that time, when a person rejects who they once were but has not yet decided who they will become, humans become ungrounded. They lack conviction in all things, so-"

"So they do things and feel things that aren't based on who they are," Jack finished.

Quinn shook his head. "Who they wish to be, mistress. In those moments, who they are is exactly what they are feeling and doing."

Jack scowled. "Well, that is disheartening."

"Is it not reassuring to know that the heartache you were feeling is unnecessary?" Quinn asked.

Jack closed her eyes in frustration. "Maybe, but now I know I was using it to fill in the gaps caused by having no idea what I'm doing."

"You do," Quinn said firmly.

"I do not," Jack countered. "If I did, I wouldn't keep feeling like this."

Quinn shook his head again. "Untrue. You are mistaking the uncertainty of not knowing what choice to make with the uncertainty of guilt."

Jack gave him a flat look. "I'd say, in this case, they're the same thing."

"No," Quinn said. "No more than clouds and rain are the same."

"Can't have one without the other," Jack said pointedly.

Quinn said nothing. What Jack had said wasn't precisely accurate, but it was close enough for the metaphor.

He waited.

Jack sighed after a moment. "So I need to get out from under the clouds."

Quinn gave her a small smile.

"Alright," Jack nodded to herself. "So I just need to focus on doing things that make me feel less guilty. I still somewhat feel like I should not have to feel guilty at all, but I do."

"Your feelings of guilt do not come from your actions, Mistress," Quinn said.

Jack squeezed her eyes shut like she was in pain. "No, they come from how Will and Bella feel about my actions. Because they don't understand, and I can't tell them. It's so damned circular."

"What can you do about it?" Quinn prodded.

"Try to earn their trust back without focusing on the past. Atone, I suppose. Help them," Jack looked like she was finally coming out of her melancholy. She gave Quinn a small smile. "I can do that. Thank you."

Quinn straightened a bit, looking satisfied. "You stated that tonight we will assist Miss Fortuna with a ritual."

Jack looked at her green paramour for a long moment, her eyes widening. "You distracted me out of a bad mood and gave me something else to focus on so that we could have sex?"

"Yes," Quinn nodded. "Has it worked?"

Jack hit him with a pillow.



To be continued