My baby has rabies

She was a teenage virgin cashier
From some Dixie state far from here
Until one day
I asked her out on a date
She said sure why not
I just can't tell my pop
 
One cold night in November
This is the story that I remember
We had rough sex in the back seat
She was quite wild but missing some teeth
She orgasmed as I came a short time later
We were both hungry for steak & mashed potatoes
 
She exited the car to smoke a cigarette
I cleaned myself up, I began to get dressed
As I looked down at my feet
My girl let out a death like shriek
A family of raccoons liked what they saw
The cornered my girl, slicing with their claws
 
Her arms and legs were a bloody sight
These raccoons were hungry, they began to bite
They bit her arms, her neck and between her thighs
I quickly ran to her rescue, I thought she was gonna die
I placed her in the car, was going to take her home
She said no, my pop will crack your dome
 
I then decided to take her back to my place
We arrived, I cleaned up her arms, legs and her face
Some bites were deep, others not so bad
She passed out within minutes, I sure was glad
The next morning when she awoke
Her mouth was foaming, this ain't no joke
 
She began talking in Latin and twisted her head
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I think she was dead
I asked her if she knew my name
She just laughed, clearly she looked insane
Blood & pus filled both her eyes
Her look was frightful, people would have ran to hide
 
I took her hand and said let's get some medical attention
She had this enormous strength, I needed to mention
She refused, and punched me in the face
I was hit hard, I grabbed a can of mace
In her eyes & mouth I sprayed the entire can
She leaned forward, then smashed her with a frying pan
 
Her head squirted membrane fluid & blood
She fell onto the coffee table, a thunderous thud
I ran to the garage and revved up my chainsaw
I wasn't waiting, I began slicing her on the floor
First her arms, then her legs, they came off with ease
Then worked on her neck, squirting yellow liquid cheese
 
It was graphic and the scene was vile
The smell was sickening, I was puking up bile
I needed to do what needed to be done
The kill would've been cleaner, if I owned a gun
But now I have to clean up, dispose of her corpse
What an unfortunate demise, what a sad loss