Cosmic inharmony

Projecting our desires upon the fragile
lessens the absolute
I pine, soulfully  
doubting whether this upset
is merely a tremor in our confinement
or a cosmic inharmony
 
I am sceptical of our union
 
Perfect life on film
But behind the scenes,  
the residuals are of resentment  
feathered with spite
The words bleed off your tongue  
like a symphony, amiss
 
You force feed me kisses
To appease the lies
That our coupling is crumpling
 
I agonize over the verbal bruises
that shade my ego
As we go round and round the imponderable
 
My spirit is lilt with confliction
 
You criticize my foundation  
Trying to develop my base into an anchorage of doubt
Questioning everything I do
Hanging on every word I say
 
And today,  
as it festers,  
I gather my will
and I probe you for answers
But you reek of defence  
Turning my world against me
Redesigning my words as your personal reprimand
Making me feel that my needs are unbalanced  
 
Sinking in dire with no release
I’m mired in this abject sand
uncomfortable
smothering  
 
it’s othering  
 
I question my worth
and you question it too
Taboo is the forethought
of finding someone who mimics my vibe
 
I’m alive when I’m not with you