Cosmic inharmony

Projecting our desires upon the fragile
lessens the absolute
I pine, soulfully
doubting whether this upset
is merely a tremor in our confinement
or a cosmic inharmony

I am sceptical of our union

Perfect life on film
But behind the scenes,
the residuals are of resentment
feathered with spite
The words bleed off your tongue
like a symphony, amiss

You force feed me kisses
To appease the lies
That our coupling is crumpling

I agonize over the verbal bruises
that shade my ego
As we go round and round the imponderable

My spirit is lilt with confliction

You criticize my foundation
Trying to develop my base into an anchorage of doubt
Questioning everything I do
Hanging on every word I say

And today,
as it festers,
I gather my will
and I probe you for answers
But you reek of defence
Turning my world against me
Redesigning my words as your personal reprimand
Making me feel that my needs are unbalanced

Sinking in dire with no release
I’m mired in this abject sand
uncomfortable
smothering

it’s othering

I question my worth
and you question it too
Taboo is the forethought
of finding someone who mimics my vibe

I’m alive when I’m not with you