deepundergroundpoetry.com

So many hats

Started in October 2023

I know a mother has many jobs to do, she wears many hats, so to speak.

A shocking realisation came to me recently though- that mothers can be jealous of their daughters. I have experienced sibling rivalry, that's an age old story retold many times, but why don't we openly talk about mothers who chose to have children when they aren't maternal, or they don't have unconditional love to give? Is it the child's fault? She didn't ask to be born in this world. She didn't ask for this set of parents.

Completed in August 2024

It's true, you can't choose your family, but you can choose kindness over cruelty.

You can choose yourself.

You can make a family that isn't bound by blood.

As I'm at the age where I'm seriously considering my future, which legacies I wish to leave behind once I'm gone, I am wondering if I need to bring my own children into this crazy world. Perhaps it's enough if I can provide a safe, loving home to someone who wasn't born into one.

What if I've inherited her traits? What if I make the same mistakes? Could I live with myself? Can we learn from other people's mistakes, or do we behave the way we are treated?

Humans are so destructive and cruel sometimes. I'm not sure I can handle such pain. Maybe it's an animal I need to adopt or foster or even sponsor? I have love to give, that I know for sure. But who or what to give it to, I don't know. I'm still young, I have plenty of time to figure things out.
Written by Too_hot69 (BelindaSnow)
Published
Author's Note
I started writing this last October, when I experienced some unpleasantness at home. With some professional help and seeing I'm not alone, meeting other women who have been treated similarly, I'm learning to accept certain realities. And now I feel safe and strong enough to finish the entry.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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