deepundergroundpoetry.com
Baby Mine is still the saddest song in Dumbo
when I was a kid,
I had a rock tumbler
I’d pack it with beach stones
listening to the thing whir and crunch
for a month until I excitedly
unscrewed the cap
sieving off the thick granite slurry
to reveal my polished agates.
I kinda feel like my spine makes
the same noise these days
every morning it cracks
like a mother fucking glow stick
that refuses to actually glow
every morning I sit in the shower
washing off sweat and sleep
from my burning skin
but the diamonds don’t come
like tonight, after a car journey
ended in a one-eighty
because pain was too much
to bear only to get home
to find ten feral kids
sitting circled on the drive.
In the middle,
I saw the poor thing
a fledgling blackbird
dragging a motionless leg
while a mother chirped frantically
from a lonely roof above.
I’ve learned several things
about myself of late
the biggest being that I am
the softest piece of shit
to ever walk the Earth
the second being
I will save everything and everyone
before I save myself
as I got down on the concrete
put my jacket around baby
protecting it from three potential cats
as I lifted it into a box
so that it could be taken to a shelter
then I got stuck —
listened to my spine
play a rock tumbler symphony,
unable to stand as I crawled across
damp English concrete to the house
as neighbours watched hands dirty,
and a dress rip, and dignity plummet.
I sat on the carpet for a while
unable to lift myself off the ground
reflecting on the shitcake of the evening
watching Momma blackbird outside
frantically call for her baby
but she wasn’t there
and I felt like a cunt
even though we were doing right
trying to get babies leg fixed
I felt like a cunt…
that Mother was frantic
and because of me
she’ll never see it again.
Saw myself in it all
a grief stricken mother
a helpless fledgling
broken legged
& boxed in
my spine never tumbled
any treasures after that
Published 24th Jul 2024
| Edited 25th Jul 2024
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25th Jul 2024 7:48am
This sounds like an act of dignity more than anything, very sad, beautiful, uplifting at the same time, i hope the birds ok and you back is feeling some better, sounds like you gave it your all for what could be called an inconvenience splayed out on the driveway, always a good lesson to the kids too, forget what the neighbours think if that's really a concern, "
Saw myself in it all
a grief stricken mother
a helpless fledgling
broken legged
& boxed in " Great ending here:)
Saw myself in it all
a grief stricken mother
a helpless fledgling
broken legged
& boxed in " Great ending here:)
