Mommy, Why Didn't You Love Me...?

“We’re counting on you, Diana,” Alia stated. “We know you can do it.”

“You’re so stupid!” my mom is saying in these horrible flashbacks.

“Grow up, grow up!” My dad spanked me hard as I cry tears no truly cares about.

“You’re such a brat.”

“Wear a bra, bitch.”

“You’re just looking for problems!”

“So ungrateful!”

Alia is asking me to do the unthinkable. She believes in me. Someone finally believes in me…

She wants me to go back to the house where it all happened. Cameras are all set up there. I know what will happen if I go back. I know my father in the afterlife will be arrested, and it will all be over.

Alia knows this is my story to tell. She wants me to be the new voice for abuse victims, alive or dead. With Alia’s psychic ability, she’s able to transfer the video I will create to the physical Earth. The place I used to be, before I decided to take my own life.

She wants me to tell my story, as if it was never robbed from me.

After many pleads, I decide to do it. I decide to do the right thing, not just for others but for myself.

I’m transported back to the house, that perfect two story. The kind of perfect I could never be.

I shake the thought, and I continue walking.

I open the door and then shut it, feeling frightened by the loud sound. Because how dare me, right? How dare me…?

I lock it, knowing my father has full access to get in, and I take a deep breath.

I run up the stairs.

Alia told me that once I get inside my room to just start talking and not to stop.

Once I get there, I am quiet, fumbling with words. Because I’m absolutely tired from having to explain myself.
But eventually, words start spilling out.

“Um, hi, this is Diana here. Diana Rose. I live on Nancy Lane, in The Woodlands. I’m just wondering…wondering why Mommy… Why didn’t you love me? I know you say you do all the time, but I don’t know what to believe. Why Mommy? Why did you let him hurt me? Why does Daddy hurt me?”

“I never felt good enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. Everyday, I just feel like a disgusting waste of space. There are so many days I wish I never existed.”

At this point, I am weeping. Tears keep falling, and they don’t stop.

Alia is now giving me her mind. She’s lending me the ability to see my mom watching this on TV as we speak. And my father is on the radio as he’s rushing back to the house. And random people everywhere in the world watching.

I’m at the point where I literally have no care left. And I can’t…I can’t hold anything back.

“There are so many days that I hate you… There are so many days I hate you both… But all I can feel is that it’s all my fault. That I brought this on myself. And I know I must stop believing that. That I’m at fault you hitting me, Mom. For you choking me, sedating me… For you…RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“And for you, Father, for… No, you can’t be here. GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!! No…”

My dad had made it home just in time, barging in my room. I could hear his footsteps all too well, and I could only brace myself for the worse.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

He tried to act innocent, stepping towards me. But neither he nor my mother can act innocent anymore.

I see that not only the recording of me speaking up is on broadcast but all their evil deeds.

They can no longer hide.

“Don’t move!” A slender male with a black motorcycle helmet on said. I assume at first he’s speaking to me, but before I can blame myself for long, I realize it’s Jesus. He was protecting me at the front entrance, God was in the back.

He has a gun in his hand to get my father to obey his commands to drop to the ground, so he can place handcuffs on my father. It’s disorienting to see my father’s face of disgust towards me and to hear him curse me. Also to see in my mind my mom’s reaction to the earthly cops arresting her. Her forever screams at me. Her forever rage.

And to see all the abuse victims all around the world clap…for me.