Freely Me

My last diary entry prose post was pretty dark.
 
But compared to that day, I'm realizing the light.
 
I'm realizing more and more about what it means to be freely me.
 
What it means to be able to be me and not worry about how it will be perceived. Whether I'm doing this right or wrong. Or driving myself insane with my own uncertainty.  
 
The truth is I don't know it all, but I have to take my best guess and learn from my mistakes when I make them. I put ‘failures’ at first, but corrected the last sentence with ‘mistakes.’ Because I'm never truly a failure for trying.  
 
Been told by a good friend of mine that I may have a bit of a victim mentality. But whether I do or don't naturally, I'm not gonna let it bring me down.  
 
Also saw an Instagram post by Megan Crabbe (a body positivity influencer) today about no longer being bothered by what men want. It's an interesting concept for sure. For someone like me who is mostly straight. I'm probably not queer enough like her to date a woman. But either way it's a refreshing thought.  
 
I don't need to be valued by men to be inherently worthy.
 
I'm worthy no matter what, and I don't need to worry. And even if I do worry, I would like to start showing compassion for that side of me. That side of me who worries about being found out to be bad and unlovable in a way, shape, or form. In my art, in my love life, in anything really.  
 
But I'd love to be free from these chains that have bound me foe so long.
 
Telling me I can't be loved unless X.
 
Even with my hands shaking and my knees wobbling, even when everything in me tells me I'll make a fool out of myself,I'm gonna be freely me.