Sugar Baby

Nineteen years old
she browses the profiles  
of men willing to pay for a good time  
and wonders if she could do it  
if she could trade her shitty self esteem  
for even shittier sex  
and find beauty in the way  
her soul will break  
under the weight of it  
 
She sells nudes to incels  
charms money from their wallets
without giving much of herself away
 
She can't imagine any man  
would want someone like her  
for something more than  
a cheap meaningless fuck  
when she's not white enough  
to be white  
not dark enough  
to be black
too tall  
and too curvy
in what she calls  
all the wrong places  
 
I made the mistake  
of joking that she could sell
her dirty underwear online  
to make some quick cash  
and I know she's considering it  
 
But in the grand scheme of things
that's the lesser of these evils  
 
If I could take my life back  
I'd rather have nothing  
than sell my body
for trauma and cheap thrills  
that never bought me what
I was actually looking for  
 
(Love)