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Lost Me

I tried so hard to save you,
and in the process,
I lost me.
Forgetting all the things I wanted,
I abandoned my own needs.
I put you first,
and in turn what did that get me?
A knife in the back,
and a broken heart,
when you should have just killed me.
Living with the self pity,
is equivalent to dying anyway.
Mourning my hopes and dreams,
that I put on the back burner,
because I was so certain
that you’d stay.
Now a hollow shell of myself,
who can I turn to? When there’s no one else.
I stay in bed and sleep the day away,
because getting up and facing myself
after letting myself down is too much to take.
In my own tears, I’d drown.
How could I have been so stupid?
How could I have been so blind?
I hope that one day I’ll forgive myself,
maybe in due time..
Speaking of time,
so much wasted,
so much invested.
So much time spent on someone who didn’t deserve it,
I wish that I would’ve kept it.
But they say that healers
always attract those who are broken.
While that may be some of the truest words ever spoken..
I still tried to fix you.
I still tried to mend the pieces.
I absorbed your pain to take it away,
and now the hurt never ceases.
It lives on, through me.
The same me, that I lost.
I’d contemplate selling my soul to get back to me,
but at what cost?


- Poetic Gawdess
Written by poetic_gawdess
Published
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