Time Wasted

I dodged a bullet
Even though it hurts
I know it’s gon’ get worse
Slipped so low
You got to know your worth
No matter where you go
Feel so lonely and cold
I had to open up my heart, just for it to grow
Lost my uncle when I was eight
I ain’t been the same since
Heart so cold, I don’t know where to begin
I had to look within, never losing my passion again
Pain struck deep, made me the person I am
Said we’re better off as friends
But I can’t do that again
I respect you
I don’t hate you
But my heart has to mend
Heal this broken heart
That you left in the wind
Suffering in silence, its so hard to pretend
Like I don’t hurt, like I don’t have a heart to give
I said I would forgive, but it’s hard to forget
I wrote “The Beautiful Regret”
But it should have been left unsaid
Sticky situations had me wishing I was dead
All I seen was red
My passion for the Lord saved me in the end
I was about to go fed
I was about to lose my head
Cause I
Did more than I could
I didn’t do it all just because
It’s so hard to open up
So I sip often enough
Just so I can forget, this pain is often intense
It took a deep cleanse, and the power of my pen
I wasted too much on myself
Hurting deep inside, so I hurt someone else
Because of my pride

Its a vicious cycle and I hate it
Lost too much time
All the time I wasted
Wish I could get my loved ones back
it’s hard to face it
There’s no room left in my heart
My heart is vacant

I made this statement before
Said I dodged a bullet
But my heart is sore
How you love me, How you hate me?
But our hearts want more
I don’t even want to talk
Just leave me alone
Lakewood had me feeling like I was home
But I wasn’t home yet
Everyone telling me I’m gon’ blow yet
I don’t feel it deep within
I don’t feel it enough
And when the going got tough
You just up and left
Wasn’t no common decency
Like forget all the respect
I kept it real all the way til the end
You couldn’t respect me as your lover
Could never respect me as your friend
Now I’m delusional
What you did was inexcusable
Take a trip to the past
Like what we had was beautiful
Loved you from your head
Straight down to your cuticles
Would have did whatever
No matter the obstacle
Never knew our love was optional
Kept a few lessons in my arsenal
Like what I would have done
But your love was on the run
Playing games just for fun
You were never the one
Thinking you really won
But it was really me
Said I would climb a mountain
And cross every sea
It’s sad to see what our love had to be
You and me , would never really be happy
All this weight I carry
Lost too many lives, it’s not hard to be angry
What I’d do to get my uncles back
I’m thinking scary
Maybe, for once God can change me
But for now, there’s no time wasted
It’s sacred, no longer feeling hated
It’s a vicious cycle
And I swear I’m gon’ break it
Brick by brick
Stick by Stick
Do whatever
Make it quick
You ain’t never gone love
Til you find what’s within
You ain’t never gone love
Til you love your skin
There is mercy in the father
He can pick you up again
There is love in his word
When you’re feeling unheard
Close your eyes, count to ten
He sends many men

Its a vicious cycle and I hate it
Lost too much time
All the time I wasted
Wish I could get my loved ones back
it’s hard to face it
There’s no room left in my heart
My heart is vacant