deepundergroundpoetry.com
Comfort In Sound
lately, I’ve been
having this thought
that I rattle when I walk
jangle limbed
a spine like old church bells
in splintering rafters
teeth grinding
a folk instrument
in my mouth
as I take white pills,
drumming my stomach
in rolling rhythms.
This back is percussion,
you should hear it crashing
a morning’s cymbal
over and over
this symphony of pain—
music
endlessly
repeats
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2024 3:45pm
20th Jun 2024 3:18pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Comfort In Sound
20th Jun 2024 7:27pm
Hey there. Thanks kindly! Would you like to elaborate on how it made you feel? 🙂
-M
-M
Re. Comfort In Sound
A symphony of bones. Very fitting for a huge Skeletor fan such as yourself.
On a serious note, well done here as usual. Always marvel at your ability to paint visual pictures from words but you've gone the extra mile and conjured up tangible audio as well. I relate to this piece. Perhaps not on the same level as you, but all of it resonated with me on some level.
Thanks for sharing this write. 🙂
On a serious note, well done here as usual. Always marvel at your ability to paint visual pictures from words but you've gone the extra mile and conjured up tangible audio as well. I relate to this piece. Perhaps not on the same level as you, but all of it resonated with me on some level.
Thanks for sharing this write. 🙂
1
Re: Re. Comfort In Sound
20th Jun 2024 7:26pm
…. By the power of greyskull 😮
I’m really happy that you found the audio element in this and picked up a lot of the sounds. I’m sorry you can relate in a lot of ways. But maybe your back sounds like a glockenspiel in the fkn mornings too … who knows 😂
Thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts on this. Appreciated as always.
-M
I’m really happy that you found the audio element in this and picked up a lot of the sounds. I’m sorry you can relate in a lot of ways. But maybe your back sounds like a glockenspiel in the fkn mornings too … who knows 😂
Thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts on this. Appreciated as always.
-M
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2024 3:45pm
20th Jun 2024 8:17pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Comfort In Sound
20th Jun 2024 9:25pm
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2024 3:45pm
21st Jun 2024 12:08pm
<< post removed >>
Re. Comfort In Sound
20th Jun 2024 9:16pm
I love how you use instruments to elaborate what is going on. I can visualize the folk instrument in your mouth as a harmonica. I could be wrong but that is what I see. Of course, the vibration of drums and cymbals hit notes to. Nice spill
1
Re: Re. Comfort In Sound
20th Jun 2024 9:29pm
That’s an interesting interpretation of that folk instrument image… thanks for sharing. Y’know it’s funny, when I was writing it I was thinking of relatives of mine that used to play the spoons, and how that sounded like chattering teeth. But the harmonica… kind of adds a level of sound even in breathlessness. And I kinda love that. So thank you.
Cheers and stuff :)
-M
Cheers and stuff :)
-M
Re. Comfort In Sound
21st Jun 2024 4:43am
This sounded so nice. It tickled my brain. I get this, even though we aren't in the same boat, we are still in the ocean together. (I really hope that made sense LOL)
0
Re: Re. Comfort In Sound
21st Jun 2024 4:51pm
That bloody ocean, huh… I think it needs to calm the fuck down quite frankly 😂 but yeah, it made sense!
Thanks for leaving your thoughts on this. I’m glad that it tickled your brain.
Have a good one
-M
Thanks for leaving your thoughts on this. I’m glad that it tickled your brain.
Have a good one
-M
Re. Comfort In Sound
22nd Jun 2024 9:09pm
This reminds me of a friend. Especially the "rattle when I walk" part. She'd say, she took so many different pills she rattled.
0
Anonymous
- Edited 31st Jul 2024 7:45pm
22nd Jun 2024 9:38pm
<< post removed >>
Re. Comfort In Sound
1st Jul 2024 9:43am