To believe

To believe

i.

Don't want to talk about what I heard
so instead let there be light,
let there be
a prodigal summer,
a season spent slimmer,
a month or two in the soul of a killer.
I'll trade
those eyes for euphorbia,
malva, a fist fit for slaughter,
a world safe for a daughter.
What Hell would they
display in our sleep?
I no longer want to co-exist
with predators, let it sail down a river
of the secrets we keep
in pale bleeding hearts,
until the oceans are clear
of everything we've come to dread,
until the land is sweet,
still and until
the sins you've said and done
are dances
we act out over nights and conversations stuffed
like papaver heads bursting
open purple,
open orange,
open yellow -
and ear to ear I'll eat that bent devil,
that toxic beast,
no longer a hunch,
an entire reality.
I'll abandon night,
abandon feeling,
stare, wild,
into the face of the Sun.

ii.

want to punch walls,
to send shiver cracks
so vast and high the thing
might collapse upon me
at any given moment
and all that will be left
will be a woman no longer
able to remember what it's like to be liked
when you don't like it back,
what it's like to be a fire
burning ruthlessly
without a weaponnous aim to wield
against the back of one's head,
where the loveliness
of rubble and dust fan out,
there'll be red
like flowers re-rooting
after man's self centered fall.

iii.

don't want to go home,
there isn't one, there is just
green earth, the howl of wind
that can drown you out,
there is
faith in trees flooding the sky,
there is
a place inside the heart of rivers,
there is
a companion who lives
on the peak of a mountain,
or in an abandoned Warren home.
I'd stand on blanket bog,
long, expansive moor, rest
where flatlands roll
like they never got high,
like they never knew how to mound,
want to only ever be found
where I can have quarry or shore,
kneel in the deep, loam of healing,
to feel
like I own
a place no one else knows.