Snap, Crackle, Kill

When I was little boy back in the mid 1980's  
Cereal was my go to for most of my breakfasts  
My mother would only buy the "healthy" cereals  
Stuff like Wheaties, Chex, Kelloggs Raisin Bran, Cheerios and Rice Krispies  
YUCK!  
My younger brother & I were never allowed to have Cookie Crisp, Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops, Count Chocula and many many others  
No cereals with marbits  
That's the dehydrated marshmallow's that have a texture of Styrofoam  
We would beg & plead with her, but to no avail  
When we would go over to our friends homes, they had it all  
My brother & I would raid their pantry for the most sugar coated cereals we can find  
Plain or with milk, it didn't matter  
We acted like two kids that were down & out with no food in the house  
We felt good after eating massive sized bowls of this stuff  
My go to was Franken-Berry  
Loved it!  
My brother's was Pac-Man cereal  
That was good as well  
As we became more in more ravenous with our sugar coated cereals, we would still beg & plead with our parents for anyone of those brands  
They would say NO!!  
Absolutely not!  
They would preach that our teeth will become rotted out  
Now I totally understand about the dangers of excessive, processed sugar  
But back then, it was a mere FUCK YOU under my breath towards my parents  
One day I was at the grocery store with my mother  
I saw a box of Cocoa Krispies  
I said, "Mom, mom can I please have Cocoa Krispies,  
It's Rice Krispies with cocoa,  
You know how how healthy Rice Krispies are, can I get these?"  
She reads the box and she says, "NO!"
To much crap for you to consume  
She placed the box on the shelf with authority  
Somehow, somewhere, she was down the isle and I snuck the box in the cart, burying it underneath some carrots, potato's and a box of Special K  
She never saw it  
When it was time to place the items on the belt, I told her that I'll help  
She stood at the other end as I placed everything on the belt  
There was someone bagging the food  
The box of Cocoa Krispies passed without my mother seeing them being bagged  
YES!!!  
When we arrived home, I made sure I found the box and hid it under my bed  
Later in the day my mother went outside to plant some flowers  
My father was at work  
My brother & I grabbed two bowls, some milk and poured ourselves two bowls of cereal  
We were in heaven  
Though I thought we were  
Maybe we were entering hell  
As the milk began soaking into the cereal, I heard Snap, Crackle & Pop talking to me  
The message was clear  
All three of them were saying, enjoy our products, kill your parents  
The word kill was clear as day  
My brother heard it as well  
I wasn't sure if I should follow their advice or not  
I spoke back to my cereal bowl and said, "If they piss me off one more time, then I may do it!"  
My brother was a little more hesitant  
Nevertheless, we took our favorite spoons and dug that spoon deep into our bowls  
That 1st bite of artificial, chocolate sugar made our mouths and bodies jump to the ceiling  
Not just because it tasted amazing, but because we got one over on our parents  
While eating the cereal we were acting like two doofuses  
Making noise, making fun of our mother and becoming wild and unruly  
As we were in the zone, our mother crept up in behind us  
She yelled, "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS CEREAL?!"
I made up a story and said, "A friend of ours gave it to us because they bought one to many"  
She said, "BULLSHIT!!"  
No mom, I swear!  
Who's the friend?  
I didn't want to put any friends of mine under the bus  
Plus, I couldn't think of a name  
She said, "Oh ok then!"  
She took our two bowels and threw them into the sink, one shattered  
My brother ran into his room  
I stood my ground  
My mother goes, "YOU WANT TO BE DEFIANT WITH ME!?"
She them smacked me hard across my face  
Some of the cereal in my mouth flew out with that smack  
I stood there holding my face  
She told me to go into my room  
I didn't  
I remembered what Snap, Crackle & Pop said to me  
I ran to the butcher block and pulled out the largest knife I saw  
I then took the knife and began stabbing her repeatedly in the face  
She fell backwards into the refrigerator  
Our avocado colored frig was now splattered with blood, flesh and skin  
My brother heard the shrieks and ran out into the kitchen  
He couldn't believe his eyes  
I then grabbed our cassette deck radio and played loud Twisted Sister's hit song "We're not gonna take it"  
It was my favorite song at that time  
As my mother was lying there in a pool of blood  
I was lip-singing to the song, playing air guitar  
I knew the right thing to do was to contact the police  
When they arrived we made up a story that a burglar broke into our house and killed our mother  
There was no evidence  
We were 7 & 10 years old  
We had no clue that our story wouldn't hold  
They took both of us down to the station  
They questioned us together & separated us for hours  
I stuck to my burglar story  
My brother didn't  
He told the police that I acted alone and stabbed my mother  
Eventually I confessed and told them that Snap, Crackle & Pop encouraged me to do it  
My brother was found innocent  
I wasn't  
I was committed to a hospital for evaluation  
I have since been released  
My mother survived the ordeal  
She is badly scarred and doesn't look the same  
We haven't spoken in almost 25 years  
My father died a few years back from an overdose of sleeping pills & alcohol  
My brother lives across the country & is quite successful in the advertising industry  
He works for General Mills!  
The last I spoke to him, he told me he refuses to buy anything from Kellogg's  
My pastime nowadays is writing on DUP  
I haven't been able to look or touch any cereal boxes with Snap, Crackle and Pop  
I know what they told me  
There as guilty as I am  
Unfortunately society doesn't believe me  
Maybe Kellogg's should place a warning label on their cereal  
Now a days my favorite cereal is Cap 'N Crunch from the Quaker Oats Company  
The captain is a cool dude  
We have spoken numerous times about life, spirituality and some of his friends in the cereal industry  
He's really good friends with Dig 'Em Frog from Honey Smacks  
Just recently he told me that we can sail away to distant lands with nothing to ever worry about  
There will be plenty of cereal with no political, social or environmental worries    
If I'd like of course  
I told him this sounds delightful  
I just need to take my own life and we'll be able to start our journey  
I'm going to give it some thought...