deepundergroundpoetry.com

Sin Rooms Chapter 7 A Song

 Date: Some time in 1990
 
The car screeched on fresh fallen snow. Winter came earlier than usual that year. I had just gotten my drivers license a few weeks earlier and was about to loose it as my car sped downtown. Michele Bolton’s song was playing on the car radio. It had been on the top of the charts that year. I preferred Laura Brannigan’s version of the song. Then again, I’m always been impartial when it comes to choosing between the sexes.  
 
I could hardly believe it
  
When I heard the news today  

I had to come and  

get it straight from you

 
 
I rang the bell and waited as more snow flakes seeped in between my once thick locks of hair. Cold drops stung my shivering scalp. A few minutes of heart quenching moments, waiting, fidgeting in the cold, she finally let me into her cramped apartment.  
 
“Is it true?” I asked Mila as I burst inside.  
 

They said you were leavin'  

Someone's swept your heart away  

From the look upon your face,
  
I see it's true
 
 
I had to know. One of Mila’s friends had called me up and told me all about it. She said Mila did not want to see me again. At first I did not believe what I had heard. I thought it was a joke. Mila was my friend. We were more than friends. We were lovers. I had even begun making plans of what my future was going to be living with her. I had just finished high school and I was starting to look for a job. A job which I hoped was going to provide for the both of us. I told her all about it. I told her how I wanted to live the rest of my life with her.  
 
So tell me all about it
  
Tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'  

Tell me one thing more  

before I go

 
 
“What do you want me to say?!” Mila cut me off. “We are just friends. That’s all. There are no plans. There never was. I was just making it all up so you would move on.”  
 
I choked as she threw that into my face. She wanted me to leave her. She was dumping me, and there was not even anyone else. I could not believe what I had just heard.  
 

Tell me how am I suppose
  
to live without you?
  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
  
How am I suppose to live without you?
  
And how am I suppose to carry on?
  
When all that I've been
  
livin' for is gone

 
 
“Look,” Mila finally said. “You’re eighteen. You have your whole life in front of you. You have to leave me. I don’t want to wake up one day to see the look on your face when you blame me for destroying your dreams.”  
 
“What dreams?” I blurted. “YOU ARE MY DREAM.”  
 
“No,” Mila tried to smile. “I’m your fascination. I’m not your dream.”  
 
“You don’t even know what my dreams are,” still believing we could patch things up. “I want to share all my dreams with you.” I added with a quivering voice.  
 
“No. You don’t. You dream of going to london to finish your studies.” I was surprised she even remembered that.  
 
“London doesn’t matter,” I tried to interject.  
 
“Nooo… it matters,” she replied. “You told me you had been accepted for college in the U.K. If you don’t go you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. That’s been your dream ever since I met you.” I was very surprised when she laid out my whole life in front of me as if she knew what my future held.  
 
“Okay, so you can come with me to London.”  
 
She chuckled. “You know I can’t.”  
 
“Even if I go to London, we can still be together,” trying to find a way. “I’ll be back. I can’t live without you.”  
 
“No you won’t,” she replied. “Besides, You dream of working in your family business.” She surprised me with that one once again. “I don’t think your family will ever accept me as one of them especially when they know what is it that I do for a living.” She tried to explain.  
 
“I don’t care about my family business. I can find other work. You won’t have to work as an escort anymore ...”  
 
“No, no, no…you can’t,” she replied. “I’m an escort. I will always be an escort. There is no together for us.” she tried to explain but I did not want to acknowledge that this part of my life was at its end. “Besides, You dream of finding a girl that you could build a life with. I’m not that girl. I can never be that girl...can’t you understand that?!”  
 
“But you ARE…We can build a good life together…” I tried to cut her off.  
 
“STOP IT, WILL YOU JUST STOP IT ...” she finally yelled at me. “Look. I really like you. But you have to move on. I have to move on. We will always be friends. That’s all, just friends.”  
 
I was about to break down as I fell on my knees in front of her.  
 
“Please don’t cry…” she said as she put her hands on my mane, lifting my head up until our eyes finally met.  
 
I didn't come here for cryin'  

Didn't come here to break down  

It's just a dream of mine  

is coming to an end  
And how can I blame you
  
When I build my world around  
The hope that one day
  
we'd be so much more than friends
  
And I don't wanna know the price  

I'm gonna pay for dreaming  

Even now it's more than I can take

 
 
That is when she planted her lips on mine and I fell back into a trance once again. Mila was an amazing kisser, not that I kissed anyone before I met her. She was my first. My first dream, a dream that was about to slip right through my fingers. For two years I used to wake up every day wondering why a beautiful escort such as Mila would ever befriend a kid like myself. I finally began to think she really wanted to be with me. I sure as hell did. A teenage boy would cling to a scarecrow if it winked at him. She was far from a scarecrow. She was a gorgeous girl who probably wanted a friend in her life and she chose me.  
 
When I finally opened my eyes after that succulent kiss, I knew that this was the last time I was ever going to see Mila again. A price I had to pay to follow my real dreams. She knew it as well.  
 
Well, … that is not entirely true. I did see Mila again, be it for a very brief glimpse. That glimpse did plunged me back yet into another dream that I’m still struggling to figure out to this very day.    
 
“Next time you come back home for a visit, don’t forget to give me a call,” she said when she ended our kiss. “I want to know all about those beautiful English lasses you’re going to meet.” She whispered into my ear.  
 
“Forget you!? Never… I will never forget you,” I lied. “I’m going to see you very soon I promise.” I never did keep any of those promises. “Besides, I don’t think I’m going to be dating any English girls any time soon. You’re the only one for me.” Another promise I did not expect I would be braking so very soon.  
 
“Yeh… sure,” Mila smirked. She stood up, grabbed my hand, pulled me up, and dragged me behind her like a lost puppy.    
 
“What are you doing?”  
 
“I’m going to fuck you now,” she chuckled.  
 
“I thought you did not want to do that anymore.”  
 
“Of course I do,” she replied. “Just to make sure you don’t forget me.”  
 
How could I forget. It was an amazing night. She was an amazing woman. She pushed me down on the bed, removing our clothes until we were both as naked as the day we were born. As usual taking my cock into her mouth was the highlight of our lovemaking. She taught me all I knew about oral. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Eventually I did meet another who taught me way more. Then again, that’s another story…  
 
When Mila finished making my cock as hard as it could ever get, she slowly slipped on top of me, guiding my throbbing staff into her wet welcoming entrance. Slowly she began going up and down on my pole. Every time I wanted to explode she slowed the rhythm to a heart numbing stop. A few times of those teases I could not stop my cock from screaming it’s load anymore. When I did, I remember seeing flickers of light that fogged my eyes as my body went in an after shock. That was all I remember of our farewell, the last time I fucked Mila.  
 
As the car slipped once more on compacted snow, Michele Bolton song continued to ring in my head. Even as I was making plans for my up coming trip to London I still could not help thinking of my first love and wondering…  
 
how am I suppose
  
to live without you?
  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
  
How am I suppose to live without you?
  
And how am I suppose to carry on?  

When all that I've been
  
livin' for is gone


Written by Samnash (Sam Nash)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3 reading list entries 1
comments 5 reads 102
Commenting Preference: 
The author is looking for friendly feedback.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 5:46pm by Ahavati
POETRY
Today 4:53pm by ajay
COMPETITIONS
Today 11:18am by Vision_of_insanity
POETRY
Today 9:27am by Grace
SPEAKEASY
Today 5:55am by airparalyzed
SPEAKEASY
Today 5:53am by airparalyzed