Renovations

 

The water is cold

and the entire thing feels

like a mockery of
something pure.


Your chin is on my hair,
my hitching breath
vibrates in my shoulder blades
and you whisper


shhhhhhhh


Both of our asses are asleep

from curling around each other
on this cold,

dirty

floor

But fuck,
you hated yourself enough

to put your arms around me again

And it is
a fucking shambles.


I’m sure any minute the floor is

going to give out and we’re going

to fall through the tub,

fall through the floor,

and end up

with a ceramic enema.

(We really did need new tile anyway.)


My head is against
the bruised
 parts I left on you,

hair sticks to 
the
bloody parts you left 
on yourself,

and you’re gentle
when you press

your battered lips
to the top of my head

fuck,
you’re gentle

Somehow that
makes it worse

my teeth chatter
as 
water washes away tears,

as you hold tighter,
as I cling to you

shhhhhhhh

The water is cold,
but it’s not the reason

I
can’t
stop
shaking.