deepundergroundpoetry.com
my story 2.0
The last was a double.
Sixth. Tops.
Bottoms up.
Swig. Swallow.
Swig. Swallow.
Stutter. Sign language.
You stumble down the corridor, stomping, squishing dying locusts.
Chemical deaths. Trichloroethane. At your services since 1946.
Their neural functions cease after forever and the cramps stop.
By morning the janitor will have a hard time. Flattened carcasses.
Below the flat screen monitor. MTV playlist on mute.
Drag yourself out.
The ammonia hits you like a freight train.
The drinks deconstructed.
The hangovers spilling into drains.
Show's over.
Well it's encore for you.
The feeling is like a hammer tap tap tapping.
A six inch nail.
Into the back of your head.
A conceptual art piece.
Your neck a cast iron muscle cramp.
Your brain glowing hot noodles-sizzling-popping-with maggots boring in.
Beetles and ants eating away the pulp and setting on trans-polar expeditions.
Your hippocampus is crawling with armies.
Tap tap tap. The nail just keeps going. Jesus inside your head.
The soft, pulpy Jesus undergoing infernal tortures.
By the armies.
Internal would have sufficed. As an adjective.
But it's lack of imagination.
Cardinal sin. Tap tap. Your brain invaded, drilled.
Suffer.
Suffering gives you hope. Inspiration.
The three thousand bucks that you spent, well.
Congragulations.
Someone is humping inside the car. Hip-hop.
Skin against skin. Exchange of fluids. Heat.
Venereal diseases. Muffled moans. Uplifting grunts.
You raise your head.
Doggy style. Cramped in the backseat.
Desperation. Outstretched comfort zone.
Siamese twins breaking free. Breaking in.
Electrocuted.
A projectile of bitter-thick vomit.
Arcs of brown puke gushing down your throat.
Reverse blowjob.
Three thousand bucks.
Snot, tears, saliva. Trinity.
Bile and Black label. On the floor.
Welcome to reality. Welcome to redundancy.
Pathos. Pity. Decadence.
Welcome to AA meetings.
Get your act together. Blow your nose. Collect and eject.
All the bitter spit.
Make your mark. Take a walk.
Root, tunnel, bore into your tiny cave. Be a maggot.
Another day lies. Kiss Kiss. Gang bang.
Show's over. Lights out.
Tap Tap.
Thanks to my dearest J and J. And the enigma of the sea
Published 7th May 2012
| Edited 15th May 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 6
reads 1071
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Those few lines which end in 'Reverse blowjob." reminded me of this really great line from a book by DBC Pierre where someone eating is described 'like a shit taken backwards."
Really liked all the sounds that went along with 'tap', 'swig', 'swallow', 'gushing'...gave it this very visceral edge.
And it really struck me how the words soft and pulpy were given to that Jesus inside your head. I like that mix of intimacy and squeamishness - makes things seem human.
Really liked all the sounds that went along with 'tap', 'swig', 'swallow', 'gushing'...gave it this very visceral edge.
And it really struck me how the words soft and pulpy were given to that Jesus inside your head. I like that mix of intimacy and squeamishness - makes things seem human.
14th May 2012 5:46am
Merda
Thank you for the wonderful feedback.
This was the first in the series of experimental
writes. I believe they need a lot of polishing.
Nevertheless I wanted to see the response on this
unedited, bare version.
DBC Pierre. I have heard that name somewhere and
that line is beautifully graphic.:)
Good to have you here as always.
Sumeet
Thank you for the wonderful feedback.
This was the first in the series of experimental
writes. I believe they need a lot of polishing.
Nevertheless I wanted to see the response on this
unedited, bare version.
DBC Pierre. I have heard that name somewhere and
that line is beautifully graphic.:)
Good to have you here as always.
Sumeet
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2012 7:28am
14th May 2012 7:27am
Ah Sumeet...how bloody interesting. The change into a poem, without the other chapter to follow, has solidified this piece nicely, and enabled it to bear the chopped style much better....what a pleasant idea. We did talk about how well this 'chapter' stood....and here it is, standing :-)
Well done.
dp
Well done.
dp
14th May 2012 9:08am
Deathproof
Thank you for the feedback. Then and now.
Somehow I had felt it to be better stand-alone read.
Glad it caught your eye.
Respect,
Sumeet
Thank you for the feedback. Then and now.
Somehow I had felt it to be better stand-alone read.
Glad it caught your eye.
Respect,
Sumeet
14th May 2012 8:10am
i told you! so happy to see this brilliant piece here, and i will never know why it didn't show sooner. still all of the same admirations, brother. and an extra dose of 'fuckin good'. [:
14th May 2012 9:11am
Jess
Did I tell you I love you.:) I guess I did n't.
Thank you for everything you had said. I owe this
to you.(That means forever)Before deleting this
I had this strange idea to send it across and you
saved this from being lost in the abyss of recycle bin.:)
Brother is beautiful. Sounds more like 'comrade'.
To make it to the list is an honour.:)
Adoration,
Sumeet
Did I tell you I love you.:) I guess I did n't.
Thank you for everything you had said. I owe this
to you.(That means forever)Before deleting this
I had this strange idea to send it across and you
saved this from being lost in the abyss of recycle bin.:)
Brother is beautiful. Sounds more like 'comrade'.
To make it to the list is an honour.:)
Adoration,
Sumeet
