deepundergroundpoetry.com
Grand Slam
Lost inside this chaos
The simulation of control
For all that can’t be compensated for
I’m sinking and I can’t plug the hole
Plans subject to these circumstances of decay
It’s only matter of an unknown time frame for home in the remaking
Moving forward as I chase a non existent day
Dreams in exile, occupation taking
Insomnia of realist pessimism
Lost in the maze of the social convention
Common expectations entrapment
Judged upon presumed intention
Caught between critics, debts, and obligations of sacrifice
Making a living to pioneer a sense of green grass paradise
Perspectives of small beginnings
Gratitudes verses my will to despise
Ball park estimations of the projected innings
Waiting for a home run to materialize
Load the bases, I’m out of strikes but I still swing the bat
Unpredictable outcomes for what is yet to be seen
Tone deaf, off pitch
Will I burn out before I realize the dream…
Published 26th Apr 2024
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Apr 2024 7:14pm
Somewhat dark and ominous outlook, but a sort of raw and real emotional aspect about it. Again, I like how you build up comparisons and contrasts of balances, and take them into transitions, with various elements of morality to be questioned. You really do capture the frivolity and uselessness of human nature, at least in how I'm choosing to see it. Anyway, again, great write. I like how you articulate as a whole. You're very descriptive but draw together bigger dimensions in the direction of your theme, so it's not all just a lost tangent. You embrace both order and chaos, seemingly, though I feel you long for order. Good job.
27th Apr 2024 7:55am
It certainly is written from a dark place but at the same token the mystery lends itself to either an outcome of fulfillment or devastation. Thanks for reading :)
