authentic me

19 of 30


would you think more of me...or less...
if I confessed...
I am incapable of loving...
...half-heartedly

standing at the edge of love's cliff...
staring down into the deep unknown
my heart falls...hard
whether I will it or no
even knowing...
...I step off alone

what does this speak of me
that I'm willing to live...
...unrequited
without trying to deny it

at any rate...it's a moot point
I'm a terrible liar
see...it's my eyes...
give me away everytime
causing me to cast them elsewhere
...anywhere
...but into his direct gaze

there's no guarantee he's ready for me
for my billowy marshmallow heart
& my painfully honest goddamn eyes

this is why I either walk away
...or I tell them
...without expectations
I feel they have a right to know

I won't let my love get in the way
it's all about perspective
...just because I caught feelings
doesn't change a thing
as long as they don't mind
& I avert my eyes
they still reap the benefits

don't get it twisted...
I'm not love blind
my truthful eyes see...
everything
...even when others don't

not that I'd trade them for anything
I prefer their genuine transparency
...to the lies so effortlessly peddled by others
reflecting only what they believe is expected
concealing more unsavory ulterior motives
not nearly as innocent & pure as mine

& I don't understand...
how I can be so sheer...
...while they remain solid
a mirror...
...flashing my feelings back at me
showing only what I hope to see
...without any actual sincerity

no...I'll keep my authenticity
thank you
right where it can easily be seen
like a badge of honor
but....do you think less of me
for my naked honesty