"mr hermit"

     
     
     
    staying within the shell always feels like the best possible outcome/answer.... I don't think I want to be reacquainted with "old friends" or "make new friends"(imagine why a "loner" so to speak would feel this way(complexities);    
     
   and I just wished I were actually isolated on a remote island with conviency; does that make me selfish? but I know that when push comes to shove I'm most definitely not selfish given the situation...      
     
  I just want "everlasting peace"-here on "earth"....    
     
it's bad; it's real bad; conflicted-and to a degree a walking contradiction because I'm still a "human being"-connected more or less to the human species....    
     
 I admire certain practices that "buddhists" utilize-I wished I had that level of discipline to overall aquire "infinite " peace....  
for me-that's very far from easy....simply existing-hoping one day that it clicks consistently and abundantly....