deepundergroundpoetry.com
Heart's ease
How I wish
to have again
a new, unproven heart,
unscathed
untouched,
unscarred
by cold abandonments;
a heart
at rest at night
and open to a teeming world
with all
my self-constructed wards
against my hollowing
now free to be
undone.
But as I age I see
that when I ask
what grace is left
in my diminishing horizoning
to make this softening
in me
disclosed
the answer’s “none”.
to have again
a new, unproven heart,
unscathed
untouched,
unscarred
by cold abandonments;
a heart
at rest at night
and open to a teeming world
with all
my self-constructed wards
against my hollowing
now free to be
undone.
But as I age I see
that when I ask
what grace is left
in my diminishing horizoning
to make this softening
in me
disclosed
the answer’s “none”.
Published 9th Apr 2024
| Edited 30th May 2024
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12th Apr 2024 3:12pm
As we age, we grow sage, and the heart 's feelings, been so rebellious, now must ascend into the brain to be wisely tamed.and fine poetry masterly and easily spilt..
Good one, and thanks for sharing
Good one, and thanks for sharing
Thank you for the compliment. But I am having trouble parsing what you wrote, let alone agreeing with what it is I take you to be asserting.
I assert that when young the heart is in love, and when we grow old its the brain's turn to love.
So no other explanation can be better than this one.,
My compliment, was mainly about the English used, not about the ideas given, coz ideas are personal, but English usage is the basis of my critique.......
i criticize the " Language used "" not the thoughts portrayed, for everybody can say what they want''
So no other explanation can be better than this one.,
My compliment, was mainly about the English used, not about the ideas given, coz ideas are personal, but English usage is the basis of my critique.......
i criticize the " Language used "" not the thoughts portrayed, for everybody can say what they want''
"I assert that when young the heart is in love, and when we grow old its [SIC} the brain's turn to love.
So no other explanation can be better than this one.,"
Even if what you say is true, I fail to see why you are making claims and observations about what age makes the brain do, let alone how your questionable assertions provide me with what I ask readers of my piece to give me -- i.e. honest criticism (analysis) of the effectiveness of my submission as poetry and how and why it does or does not work as such..
"i criticize the " Language used "" not the thoughts portrayed, for everybody can say what they want''"
Leaving aside the fact that you did not "criticize" the language that I used in my submission, isn't the issue whether what someone says is well said and makes readers of what is said "see with their eyes shut"?
So no other explanation can be better than this one.,"
Even if what you say is true, I fail to see why you are making claims and observations about what age makes the brain do, let alone how your questionable assertions provide me with what I ask readers of my piece to give me -- i.e. honest criticism (analysis) of the effectiveness of my submission as poetry and how and why it does or does not work as such..
"i criticize the " Language used "" not the thoughts portrayed, for everybody can say what they want''"
Leaving aside the fact that you did not "criticize" the language that I used in my submission, isn't the issue whether what someone says is well said and makes readers of what is said "see with their eyes shut"?
