deepundergroundpoetry.com
First Meeting
What would our "at last" meeting
make us feel or know?
A new lit vital life perhaps?
Forgetfulness of heart scars from our pasts?
A future for us finally unclosed?
The promise of an Edening within
a fallen world renewed
and close?
Come now, let us see
what havening for us
in such a time would be.
make us feel or know?
A new lit vital life perhaps?
Forgetfulness of heart scars from our pasts?
A future for us finally unclosed?
The promise of an Edening within
a fallen world renewed
and close?
Come now, let us see
what havening for us
in such a time would be.
Published 18th Mar 2024
| Edited 21st Mar 2024
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19th Jun 2024 4:14pm
There is an attempt at rhyme with "know" (line 2), "pasts" (line 4), and "close" (line 6). However, "know" and "close" don't rhyme, and "pasts" is an imperfect match with both.
Lines 7, 9, and 10:
The end of line 7 ("renewed") does not rhyme with "see" (line 9) or "be" (line 10). While "see" and "be" do rhyme, "renewed" breaks the pattern.
Lines 7, 9, and 10:
The end of line 7 ("renewed") does not rhyme with "see" (line 9) or "be" (line 10). While "see" and "be" do rhyme, "renewed" breaks the pattern.
