mind and heart going for a walk

           
           
           
           
    amazing how madness, and rationale can exist in the same head space-while time only knows which overrides the other in the end-outloud or in silence....striving for the "higher" road despite my own struggles within....          
           
     why philosophical discussions are embraced-due to its light hearted, and open minded approach;          
           
      when I'm alone-i know that I am not exempt from human imperfection-despite a desperate need for one's self to separate one's self and longing to escape everything....          
           
     I'll never not wonder what created this, despite what most would say- or what even to describe this as, or be able to fathom the whys....          
           
   trying to hold on to the things within one's quiet time that brings some sort of peace to one's mind....          
           
   but there's always this dire need to be released from what feels like an "earthly" bind.... because why must madness and rationale even dwell in the same mind, let alone time-line....          
           
they say, "God is good...." some would have a lot of words to describe, whatever created everything along with this human mind to even wonder to begin with.... I don't know what to think- other than try one's best to "live" one's life the way one wants to "die"-peacefully....          
           
that introversion installed in the mind-I believe that is part of the reason why-it appears that solitude could be good if only it didn't come at such a price....            
           
  I'd describe this world as stuffy-just enough "stuff"(for me)would be just fine, ultimately because too much "stuff" requires much more of one's energy and this thing we call "time"....          
           
           
what is all of this about? does it matter, or will one ever truly ever know? why must the temperature go from extremely hot one season to extremely cold the next-the mind would like to know-seperate from humans' scriptural text perspective....     
           
perhaps answers to questions-only  given in what one(myself included) desperately wants to believe as an "afterlife" that could take form in mysterious ways if so....such as this experience....          
           
sometimes I'd like to get out of my own head and not even ask questions....other times I just yearn to escape to somewhere pleasant void of any destructive influence-a place of pure pureness....one can only imagine or dream of....