Apparetnly Im not good enough

Why do I try so hard
When all that I try to accomplish,
Only gets smashed down?

I feel rediculous and stupid,
Not only because I do,
But also for my self-pity
That I happen to think I REALLY shouldnt do...

I work for my freedom
Of thought and expression.
But all I really get in the long run,
Is all this fucking depression...

Apparetly my best is just your worse.
So why should I even try?
I swear I have a curse.

I feel pushed down
Knocked around
Stepped on
And deserted.

What is there to live for
If all I do is ground down
Past the bones of buried guys.

All I have to look forward to
Is all these fucking lies...

Here I sit crying,
Not for the first time,
But yet again.

Whats the use?
What should be my new excuse...?

I try so hard,
I really really do.
No-one seems to get it...
Please tell me...
Do you?...