HE ACTUALLY SCREWED HIMSELF

We've heard it
innumerable  times,
usually in and argument,
disagreement, or in
jest. Three words:
"Go screw yourself."
Sometimes the "F" word
is used.
Two men, drinking  heavenly
were in a heated argument, supposed
friends. When one shouted
"Go screw yourself!" "Why don't you
go and screw yourself?"
The man quickly pulled
his trousers off and naked
crawled up on a table, raised
his bare legs wide, his manhood
and bag of jewels were
hanging over his backdoor.
He slowly rubbed the entrance
and began to screw himself.
We were stunned, at least I
was. WOW! I have wondered
many times since what it'd
be like to screw myself.
MAYBE SOME DAY OR THE
NEXT TIME I'M TOLD TO
SCREW MYSELF.
[How would a woman screw herself?]