Messenger Of Grief

Showing up unannounced
to deliver grim news
it is the worst part of the job
speaking of things
that will break them
for a lifetime

And those that have no answers
haunt and gnaw at you,
knowing that if that one piece of the puzzle
could be discovered
they could have closure
and as pained as they will always be,
they would never have to wonder
who it was that silenced that person they loved

Some embrace me,
after it sinks in,
steadying themselves
from being sucked into the depths
of that unforgiving misery
created by a senseless act of disposal

I give strength
but I also house weakness
in my escapes
to shield away the horror
with brief distractions

More drinks, than recommended
and patterned trips to the skin parade
where I plug myself deep into the anonymous
purging myself in the rhythm between their legs

Blinding myself from the realities
in the corner of a strip club,
biding my own mortality
by living in sensation
until it is drawn from me
and I am back in the cruiser
headed to another front door.