deepundergroundpoetry.com
Play-Doh people taught me to be alone
tall as a table and figuring if I'm able to weave the colors I see.
a symphony of wishes, drowned by "no"
After all, the dirty dishes cracked the stainless steel resolve
and I sawed my mommy cry
mismatched and ingrown,
hanging over the bed frame;
tired from running as crickets spawned beneath me
A sneeze, strangulation,
a baby learns the dissolution of childhood.
Hours alone, absorbing the dysregulation of parental disfigures
as always, I try hard to pry the case open,
when it all went wrong,
the songs in dreams.
A discarded sock, listless,
because my only company was in facades,
a lifelong commercial of happiness,
for shame
When all I wanted was a playmate,
and mommy told me she's sorry,
she doesn't have the imagination to play with me.
a symphony of wishes, drowned by "no"
After all, the dirty dishes cracked the stainless steel resolve
and I sawed my mommy cry
mismatched and ingrown,
hanging over the bed frame;
tired from running as crickets spawned beneath me
A sneeze, strangulation,
a baby learns the dissolution of childhood.
Hours alone, absorbing the dysregulation of parental disfigures
as always, I try hard to pry the case open,
when it all went wrong,
the songs in dreams.
A discarded sock, listless,
because my only company was in facades,
a lifelong commercial of happiness,
for shame
When all I wanted was a playmate,
and mommy told me she's sorry,
she doesn't have the imagination to play with me.
Published 25th Jan 2024
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25th Jan 2024 4:53am
this is brave and very well written I understand about childhood traumas causing you to disassociate 💕 hugs
This has a unique disposition and point of view, as it almost captures a duality between childhood and adulthood, at least to me. Some analogies could be drawn, I guess I mean to say. It almost reminds me of an intense session of psychotherapy. With that aside, you capture the emotions as they transition to the state of the protagonist's mind quite well.
The 1st stanza, to me, is the disappointment and failure of reinforcement and reassurance from an authoritative role, as it spawns into and affects other areas of the protagonist's youth. The introspection of self, and denial of roles based on poor influence by others, and the child-like state of mind is almost like an unsolvable and sad parable.
The 2nd stanza, to me, could be relative to adulthood, in that it could be talking about the now adult protagonist's absence of proper company in their life. Many disappointments spill over into adulthood, and the acceptance of that becomes obvious in the frustration of relationships not working out.
The 3rd stanza is kind of a reflection of that, in tying the childhood and adulthood together, and the protagonist attempting to assemble purpose, truth, and meaning to their life, as they psychoanalyze all of what's missing in that sort of daughter state of mind. They're missing basic and fundamental parts of personal growth to have their needs met.
The final stanza, to me, is indicative to the relationships in the protagonist's life, and how they're all missing the importance of affection and love, based on the mental state of the protagonist, and how the protagonist comes to accept it, from that sort of childhood absence of parental love.
Overall, you don't write much in this poem, but you really do a good job of "characterizing" a meaning, morality, or story that unfolds with a lot of compact and concise representation. The way you carry the transitions and direction, with the theme you use, creates a lot of open room for guessing as to where and when each stanza takes place. I liked the metaphor you used of crickets, like waiting in silence for the right relationship. Maybe I'm just crazy, and I'm way off the mark, heh. Anyway, I enjoyed the read, and the challenge to try to understand. Thanks for sharing.
The 1st stanza, to me, is the disappointment and failure of reinforcement and reassurance from an authoritative role, as it spawns into and affects other areas of the protagonist's youth. The introspection of self, and denial of roles based on poor influence by others, and the child-like state of mind is almost like an unsolvable and sad parable.
The 2nd stanza, to me, could be relative to adulthood, in that it could be talking about the now adult protagonist's absence of proper company in their life. Many disappointments spill over into adulthood, and the acceptance of that becomes obvious in the frustration of relationships not working out.
The 3rd stanza is kind of a reflection of that, in tying the childhood and adulthood together, and the protagonist attempting to assemble purpose, truth, and meaning to their life, as they psychoanalyze all of what's missing in that sort of daughter state of mind. They're missing basic and fundamental parts of personal growth to have their needs met.
The final stanza, to me, is indicative to the relationships in the protagonist's life, and how they're all missing the importance of affection and love, based on the mental state of the protagonist, and how the protagonist comes to accept it, from that sort of childhood absence of parental love.
Overall, you don't write much in this poem, but you really do a good job of "characterizing" a meaning, morality, or story that unfolds with a lot of compact and concise representation. The way you carry the transitions and direction, with the theme you use, creates a lot of open room for guessing as to where and when each stanza takes place. I liked the metaphor you used of crickets, like waiting in silence for the right relationship. Maybe I'm just crazy, and I'm way off the mark, heh. Anyway, I enjoyed the read, and the challenge to try to understand. Thanks for sharing.
26th Jan 2024 7:32pm
Sometimes the greatest fault adults have is not trying. Imagination isn't just for children, but this was wonderful. Good to see your imagination and wonder have remained. Beautiful piece
2nd Jun 2024 4:08am
