deepundergroundpoetry.com
List #6 Things I Suck At
1. Folding big things up so they fit back into small containers. I had a queen-sized air mattress that came in a grocery-store sized bag. When I deflated it, it looked like a dead grey whale. No matter how many times I folded it, it was 17 times too large to fit. I almost threw it off my balcony.
2. Paying attention to anything boring.
3. Letting go of past injustices. I don't fester over them often, but when prompted, I can remember word for word some nasty thing you said to me in 1996.
4. Following recipes exactly. I am relentlessly experimental.
5. Sleep. Those of you who slumber more than six, seven, or eight hours a night?
Wow. What a talent.
6. Resisting petting dogs
7. Running fast. I found this out recently.
8. Suppressing my opinion.
9. Meticulously blow drying my hair. Ugh! So boring.
10. Bothering to put on any makeup other than eyebrow pencil and lipstick.
11. Letting people enter my apartment unless it's cleaner than I usually live.
12. Throwing a Frisbee. I manage just well enough to keep most dogs happy, although Australian Shepards express mild disdain.
13. Looking reality straight in the face any more than I have to.
14. Accepting the world as it is. No. It must change.
2. Paying attention to anything boring.
3. Letting go of past injustices. I don't fester over them often, but when prompted, I can remember word for word some nasty thing you said to me in 1996.
4. Following recipes exactly. I am relentlessly experimental.
5. Sleep. Those of you who slumber more than six, seven, or eight hours a night?
Wow. What a talent.
6. Resisting petting dogs
7. Running fast. I found this out recently.
8. Suppressing my opinion.
9. Meticulously blow drying my hair. Ugh! So boring.
10. Bothering to put on any makeup other than eyebrow pencil and lipstick.
11. Letting people enter my apartment unless it's cleaner than I usually live.
12. Throwing a Frisbee. I manage just well enough to keep most dogs happy, although Australian Shepards express mild disdain.
13. Looking reality straight in the face any more than I have to.
14. Accepting the world as it is. No. It must change.
Published 20th Jan 2024
Author's Note
I could go on, but that would be depressing.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
- Edited 28th Mar 2025 1:50am
20th Jan 2024 8:39pm
<< post removed >>
21st Jan 2024 2:44am
Thanks. I may edit in a few more as more things I suck at inevitably manifest in the coming week.
21st Jan 2024 2:22am
1. they don't make things to fit into their original packages.
2. i don't know what they said.
3. remembering past injustices helps me know who to get even with in the future.
4. recipes are not written in stone.
5. sleep is wasted on dreamers.
6. pet the middle.
7. running fast are for those that cannot slow down to enjoy their surroundings.
8. don't do it, maybe you have something worth saying.
9. shave your head, or air dry when you can.
10. i don't wear makeup any more since i decided to let my beard grow. and i'm sure you look fine without it.
11. let the ones in that complain the most, they may start cleaning up for you.
12. trade your frisbee for a stick.
13. if you don't look, you may not see where you're going.
14. don't accept it as it is, expect change. at least hope for the better.
2. i don't know what they said.
3. remembering past injustices helps me know who to get even with in the future.
4. recipes are not written in stone.
5. sleep is wasted on dreamers.
6. pet the middle.
7. running fast are for those that cannot slow down to enjoy their surroundings.
8. don't do it, maybe you have something worth saying.
9. shave your head, or air dry when you can.
10. i don't wear makeup any more since i decided to let my beard grow. and i'm sure you look fine without it.
11. let the ones in that complain the most, they may start cleaning up for you.
12. trade your frisbee for a stick.
13. if you don't look, you may not see where you're going.
14. don't accept it as it is, expect change. at least hope for the better.
21st Jan 2024 2:40am
Wolf, I love these!
they don't make things to fit into their original packages.
Seems that way
2. i don't know what they said.
I can turn anything negative if I'm in the mood
3. remembering past injustices helps me know who to get even with in the future.
You sound like a Scorpio
4. recipes are not written in stone.
Except for the earliest ones (well, clay)
5. sleep is wasted on dreamers.
I'm a dreamer and I'd like to have more of the night kind.
6. pet the middle.
Yep, learned that from a thug of a wiener dog.
7. running fast are for those that cannot slow down to enjoy their surroundings.
Yes! I'm sticking with that.
8. don't do it, maybe you have something worth saying.
I do indeed.
9. shave your head, or air dry when you can.
I'll go with air dry.
10. i don't wear makeup any more since i decided to let my beard grow. and i'm sure you look fine without it.
You could still wear lip gloss and mascara.
11. let the ones in that complain the most, they may start cleaning up for you.
That would be my sister.
12. trade your frisbee for a stick.
Yeah, that's a little easier. Less wrist action.
13. if you don't look, you may not see where you're going.
14. don't accept it as it is, expect change. at least hope for the better
they don't make things to fit into their original packages.
Seems that way
2. i don't know what they said.
I can turn anything negative if I'm in the mood
3. remembering past injustices helps me know who to get even with in the future.
You sound like a Scorpio
4. recipes are not written in stone.
Except for the earliest ones (well, clay)
5. sleep is wasted on dreamers.
I'm a dreamer and I'd like to have more of the night kind.
6. pet the middle.
Yep, learned that from a thug of a wiener dog.
7. running fast are for those that cannot slow down to enjoy their surroundings.
Yes! I'm sticking with that.
8. don't do it, maybe you have something worth saying.
I do indeed.
9. shave your head, or air dry when you can.
I'll go with air dry.
10. i don't wear makeup any more since i decided to let my beard grow. and i'm sure you look fine without it.
You could still wear lip gloss and mascara.
11. let the ones in that complain the most, they may start cleaning up for you.
That would be my sister.
12. trade your frisbee for a stick.
Yeah, that's a little easier. Less wrist action.
13. if you don't look, you may not see where you're going.
14. don't accept it as it is, expect change. at least hope for the better
21st Jan 2024 2:38am
21st Jan 2024 2:43am
I will carry on, my wayward son.
Now I have an idea for my next list- worst songs ever. Although I do like the aforementioned.
Now I have an idea for my next list- worst songs ever. Although I do like the aforementioned.
21st Jan 2024 12:49pm
21st Jan 2024 2:24pm
21st Jan 2024 3:13pm
21st Jan 2024 4:57am
Dear PD,
Utterly and most relatable-y charming. It’s a relief to know someone else has almost the exact same reactions to life experiences. Although I do attempt eye pencil it’s not without a dictionary sized amount of foul language trying to get both sides even. 🙄
Don’t ever stop these lists. They make the world seem more bearable. H🌷
Utterly and most relatable-y charming. It’s a relief to know someone else has almost the exact same reactions to life experiences. Although I do attempt eye pencil it’s not without a dictionary sized amount of foul language trying to get both sides even. 🙄
Don’t ever stop these lists. They make the world seem more bearable. H🌷
21st Jan 2024 2:33pm
H, thank you for letting me know how my writing is perceived. I'm happy it has a positive effect. As far as eye pencil, I've thought of getting permanent eyeliner, but I'd probably sneeze while its being tattooed on and end up blind in one eye
22nd Jan 2024 6:55pm
23rd Jan 2024 2:24am
Yeah, if I kept going I would have had to excavate the serious stuff, and thanks, not right now. I just find writing casual lists helps me relax.
