Jesus Did It, Best

Quite the plan, it was--
to forgive
and exterminate every sin
past, present and future.

You see,
if something isn't alive
and flesh,
how can it be physically killed?

That's where the cup of iniquity
came in handy--
fill it with every murder,
lie, theft, deceitful thing,
you name it,
then drink it.....

It became part of you.
Flesh--
as it absorbed into the blood
infusing tissue,
part of life, alive
then it was game on.

Allow your own creation
to kill you
with all their ugliness inside of you
so it dies, too
with each pound of the spikes
through your flesh.

Then bring yourself back to life
after offloading all the things
that needed absolution,
into the place of death.

Bravo.....
Ingenious.

And here I am,
unable to get past certain things
that I should have let go,
miniscue blips on the radar
to what you accomplished.

I couldn't have done it--
drank the gall
and be nailed to a tree.

I'm too afraid of pain.
I'm a little scared to die.
(but not so much, that I won't give it a try, someday)

So here's where I need you
to take all the bitterness and anger
and offense
from a handful of things
(you know which ones)
that I can't seem to stop revisiting
and drop-kick it for me.

You already did the deed,
so I just have to pry my fingers off it
and hand it over.

(You wanna count to 3, or should I ?)

Do you think I'll be able to love again
or trust enough to be open to in it?

What about all the garbage I spew
each time I find more hidden
half-assed things
my former boss did (years ago)
that still keep surfacing
and getting us in trouble with inspectors?

What about all the rest?

Can I accept that?
(because sometimes "forgive"
means "acknowledge it and move on"
not be besties and hang out.)

Can you accept that?
(of course you can--you already did)

Now the bigger question is,
why can't I ?