deepundergroundpoetry.com
CEMETERY
the ground itself
dogs my steps,
hungry
for flesh,
nuzzling the soles
of my feet,
sniffing for bones
distant stones
wait for dates and epitaphs,
knowing where i will lay
and where they will stand
and who will place
flowers gentle
at their granite feet
in remembrance of me
dogs my steps,
hungry
for flesh,
nuzzling the soles
of my feet,
sniffing for bones
distant stones
wait for dates and epitaphs,
knowing where i will lay
and where they will stand
and who will place
flowers gentle
at their granite feet
in remembrance of me
Published 26th Dec 2023
Author's Note
Inspired by the recent passing of an old high school bud, I guess.
Still, this poem seemed to come out of nowhere. The first stanza gives me a chill.
Still, this poem seemed to come out of nowhere. The first stanza gives me a chill.
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comments 10
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Dec 2023 1:41pm
26th Dec 2023 8:10pm
Thanks for reading, my friend.
I'm hanging on as long as nature allows, and, given the right medication, maybe even some past that.
As long as the mind holds, anyway.
I'm hanging on as long as nature allows, and, given the right medication, maybe even some past that.
As long as the mind holds, anyway.
26th Dec 2023 2:19pm
26th Dec 2023 8:10pm
26th Dec 2023 4:50pm
Omg, I’m with you. That first stanza is incredible. Consider killing the second stanza, because it softens the stark blow from the first. That opening set could stand alone as minimalist.
Ok, I have to go nerd over the art:
The ground itself
dogs my steps,
hungry
for flesh,
nuzzling the soles
of my feet,
sniffing for bones
OMG! The ground itself dogs my feet.
It’s hungry and relentless for you. Gives you no respite. Holy fuck! In companionship with your title and it’s goosebumpy fer sure.
And then you use the verbs hungry, nuzzling and sniffling and we have an entity drooling over you, and it’s the very ground you walk on…. IT’S SO GOOD!
Let it stand and kill that ‘gently into the good night’ stuff.
Amazing piece.
Ok, I have to go nerd over the art:
The ground itself
dogs my steps,
hungry
for flesh,
nuzzling the soles
of my feet,
sniffing for bones
OMG! The ground itself dogs my feet.
It’s hungry and relentless for you. Gives you no respite. Holy fuck! In companionship with your title and it’s goosebumpy fer sure.
And then you use the verbs hungry, nuzzling and sniffling and we have an entity drooling over you, and it’s the very ground you walk on…. IT’S SO GOOD!
Let it stand and kill that ‘gently into the good night’ stuff.
Amazing piece.
26th Dec 2023 8:13pm
Thank so much, Betty.
That first stanza sort of smacked me on the head.
I think I needed the second just to find my feet again. But you are probably right -- the first stanza could stand alone.
Thanks again for that amazing critique.
It made my day, really.
That first stanza sort of smacked me on the head.
I think I needed the second just to find my feet again. But you are probably right -- the first stanza could stand alone.
Thanks again for that amazing critique.
It made my day, really.
27th Dec 2023 9:20am
Dear J,
You’ve definitely captured the reaper here as he’s coming for all of us. After reading the comments the flow really connects the poem with its intent. I’m sorry to read about your friend. That’s never easy, the poem is such a great expression of the unknown and how we might interpret it. Very well done!
H🌷
You’ve definitely captured the reaper here as he’s coming for all of us. After reading the comments the flow really connects the poem with its intent. I’m sorry to read about your friend. That’s never easy, the poem is such a great expression of the unknown and how we might interpret it. Very well done!
H🌷
28th Dec 2023 1:53am
Thanks so much, Honoria.
All my poems seem like happy accidents -- some more moreso than others.
All my poems seem like happy accidents -- some more moreso than others.
27th Dec 2023 3:32pm
Oooh, yeah, that first stanza... I picture the feet sinking a little deeper with every step until the ground just swallows you up.... yikes.
The all-knowingness of the stones in the second stanza is thought provoking. At least it detaches one from the sinking horror of the first stanza... now we're just calmly walking toward a mysterious fate.
Excellent write!
❤️k
The all-knowingness of the stones in the second stanza is thought provoking. At least it detaches one from the sinking horror of the first stanza... now we're just calmly walking toward a mysterious fate.
Excellent write!
❤️k
28th Dec 2023 2:04am
Yup. I think we are mostly "just calmly walking toward a mysterious fate."
More aware of it in the elder years.
Thanks so much for you comment, K.
Much appreciated.
More aware of it in the elder years.
Thanks so much for you comment, K.
Much appreciated.
