Wondering

Will you be standing at the gate with a smile
and welcome me with a warm hug?
Or  will you just look at me like it's the first time
you are seeing me and nod?

Will you show me around in your usual animated self,
and tell me what you did while you wait for my time?
Or you just formally guide me on a tour,
like it's just a job you were told to do?

Will you tell me your stories and
 all of your adventures on the fluffy clouds? or
Will you just tell me the rules and
let me do my thing?

Will you look me in the eyes
and tell me that you miss me?
Or you will just look the other away
like you never knew me at all?

Will you be able to say my name
just like how you lovingly  did before?
or will you just call me Ms.
just like a stranger you have just met?

I am not scared to die.
I am only scared to know what happens after death.
Will heaven reunite us as father or daughter?
Or just  mainly let us live in one kingdom again,
without never knowing what we were in the past,
with all memories gone?

~J♥