deepundergroundpoetry.com
1:32
around 1:32
i‘m thinking about you
what’s growing on me i can’t undo
you’re under my skin like needles for a tattoo
i want to continue
singing like i always do
but everything i do, i seem to do for you
please, darling, come to my rescue!
love as fresh as the morning‘s dew
hearts on a foggy window that i drew
my view gorgeous, pretty as i stare at you
why don’t you have no clue?
in love with the idea of loving you?
i don’t get it, but that’s nothing new
can i get over feeling blue
for you
or do i have no clue
that i’m breaking the rule
trying to hunt, to skip the queue
to get to you?
around 1:32
i’m dreaming about you
i’m happy with you, unhappy without
you’re on my mind
all the damn time
you’re one of a kind
can‘t you just be mine?
i‘m thinking about you
what’s growing on me i can’t undo
you’re under my skin like needles for a tattoo
i want to continue
singing like i always do
but everything i do, i seem to do for you
please, darling, come to my rescue!
love as fresh as the morning‘s dew
hearts on a foggy window that i drew
my view gorgeous, pretty as i stare at you
why don’t you have no clue?
in love with the idea of loving you?
i don’t get it, but that’s nothing new
can i get over feeling blue
for you
or do i have no clue
that i’m breaking the rule
trying to hunt, to skip the queue
to get to you?
around 1:32
i’m dreaming about you
i’m happy with you, unhappy without
you’re on my mind
all the damn time
you’re one of a kind
can‘t you just be mine?
Published 11th Dec 2023
| Edited 7th Apr 2024
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Dec 2023 3:45am
I like the title for this one. To me it read 1:32am - late at night but can’t sleep. The rhyming works well
I find the relationship a little ambiguous- perhaps intentionally so. Is it someone you watch from afar who doesn’t know you? The lines “ my view gorgeous, pretty as i stare at you
why don’t you have no clue? ” In contrast, the line “ but everything i do, i seem to do for you” suggests a close relationship.
For me, a little more about the connection would help set the tone.
🌹
I find the relationship a little ambiguous- perhaps intentionally so. Is it someone you watch from afar who doesn’t know you? The lines “ my view gorgeous, pretty as i stare at you
why don’t you have no clue? ” In contrast, the line “ but everything i do, i seem to do for you” suggests a close relationship.
For me, a little more about the connection would help set the tone.
🌹
12th Dec 2023 2:21pm
First of all: thank you for your kind words!
Yes, it’s supposed to be ambiguous as it displays how I’m feeling. The uncertainty exists in a connection that sometimes seems really close but sometimes feels really scary and nothing special.
Yes, it’s supposed to be ambiguous as it displays how I’m feeling. The uncertainty exists in a connection that sometimes seems really close but sometimes feels really scary and nothing special.
23rd Jan 2024 6:40pm
Anonymous
6th Jun 2024 3:38am
Loved the flow of the rhyme
