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The Immortality of Happiness
- The Immortality of Happiness -
The summer heat was of that warm caressing variety that, when the most perverse and delicious types of thoughts come into one's mind, it causes one to feel an increase in their desires. The kind of heat that leads to thirst, the sort of thirst that is also a hunger! To know such heat, is to know desire beyond one's ability to resist... and in such moments when that hunger is upon a person, a certain type of person who is affected, or perhaps afflicted, by such things then there is no temptation that such a one will not give into. It was such a summer when the strange man walked along the path that left the woods in which he was walking, and followed the road past the nearby cemetery as he strode without any real purpose at all in mind towards the direction of town. This was one of those small towns that grew just enough to be technically considered a city, and by the year of 2010 A.D. … this particular town had become just large enough that such was the case in regards to it. It was nestled beneath a great mountain that did in its' majestic splendor dominate one's view whenever they cast their eyes in its' direction. It was quite a commanding sight, and oft the strange man thought about how those modern metal towers that sat upon the top of the mountain ever so slightly ruined the natural beauty of it. Past the cemetery was a pond at which one could oft see old men fishing and younger people boating upon its' peaceful waters. Once, it had been polluted but over time it had been cleaned up and now it was pristine to look upon. It occurred to the strange man of which this story concerns that he felt rather awkward upon seeing this drastically contrasting variety of ages... neither of which he belonged to. He was not old, being only thirty six years of age as of the past month of March... but he was no longer in his twenties, and that made him fell less than exactly young. He feared growing old, but his younger years had been filled with pain, tragedy, and horrors of the sort that should technically have broken him. And yet, none of it did. He had survived to see the present year, and the things he had survived should have killed him. But none of it did! He had been brooding upon his past all that week, and refused to accept that he should exist as an outcast that is shunned by society, which is what he felt like. He had lived his whole life in that town, ever since he had been an innocent five year old child, and once he had hated and despised that place for causing him to feel like the outcast he never wanted to be considered. He oft left home around noon to go about his various errands in town, but sometimes like on the day this story is relating at present he had no actual purpose to the walks he went on, and it seemed to him that he was searching for something. A means to end his loneliness, which was consuming him. No one ever sets out to do things that would be viewed as evil, wicked, or immoral by society... but sometimes, a person can be driven too far, and in such hard moments anyone would finally go just mad enough to finally cross certain lines. He planned to stay out until late afternoon, and around 5:00 he would go home. Back to the house he grew up in, the house he cried so much in, the house he experienced so many of his past tragedies in. He hated that place, but at the same time he loved it because it was his home, and that contrast of love and hate was not unusual. He smiled as he remembered that time when his daily schedule had been all screwed up because he had developed the habit of keeping hours quite in the reverse of the normal... during that span, he had slept through the day and been active only at night. But this disagreed with him, and so he had gotten back in the more correct habit of being active by day and sleeping at night. Though his experiences in this town had caused him to feel like an outcast, he did not want to be totally divorced from humanity. He had a fantasy that one day he would find love whilst out on these walks of his, and he knew in his heart that it was a foolish, overly romantic notion. A fool's dream! But what was the last dream he had to be happy about? The dream he and his first love had shared, when they were both sixteen years old... just before her father had murdered her... an act that had shattered the tragic couple's shared dream forever. And then, there was that young little girl he had met at the local library, who was long since departed back to India along with her family... it had been six years since she had gone from his life, and in all the time since then he had not met anyone who had been that child's equal in his heart. He needed a new dream.
Sometimes whilst walking through town, he saw happy couples walking together hand in hand, and it drove him mad with jealousy because he desired to be loved, and to love another, with that kind of very evident happiness to fill the places in his heart where the promise of such happiness used to be. So mad did it drive him, that sometimes if he thought the woman or girl was a pretty one he fantasized in a dark and terrible way about murdering the lucky fellow he had seen on this occasion or that and taking away the fellow's beloved so she could become his own. Yet, he never acted upon that impulse, considering it more wise to keep searching for whatever love the powers that be might see fit to send his way. On this day, he grew disgusted with conducting such a search in town... and felt the effort on that day to be just a futile one at best. And so, he turned his back on the main street of town and ventured back toward the direction of the pond. Then... he passed first the pond and then the cemetery, before going back into the woods of the park that was beyond the graveyard's farthest boundaries. The park itself directly bordered the middle school that this man had attended when he was growing up, and as he passed on by his old high school, which was just across the street from the cemetery... he remembered his sixteenth year all over again. How he had been driven to quit school by circumstances that had spiraled out of control. It was too much for him being bullied every day, and not fitting in with anyone, and on top of that it was no secret that the school had a serious drug problem. Which was at odds with his morals and ethics, for he chose in life to keep his body clean and free of things such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco or even coffee. He only drank water, juice, tea or hot chocolate, and nothing more harsh on the body than that. But, so bad was that high school's drug problem that the horrible people who had bullied him would beat him brutally every time he refused their offer of drugs. He could easily defend himself, but what point was there in doing so when every time he did, it was always he and only he who got in trouble for doing so! By chance the teachers never caught the bullies in the act of doing their bullying, but unluckily they always caught him whenever he threw even a single punch in his own defense. The whole situation there was beyond unfair, and what few friends he had, if any, never seemed to stay in his life for very long... and none of them had ever defended him. So it was he sat alone at the lunch table. The boys all bullied him, and the girls looked down on him even though they used to allow him to sit at their table. The principal felt sorry for him, and so allowed the teenager to eat his lunches at home, which he did. Eventually, the school had him on half days to minimize the bullying he was enduring even more. But even this did not stop it entirely, and so in the end he made the choice to quit school when he turned sixteen. And the rest of the events of that year had traumatized him for life in more ways than obvious. The same year he lost her... the first love of his life... to her father's brutish penchant for violence. That death had been honestly the only thing in his life that could be said to have truly broken him. But it did so in a way that caused fine cracks at first that widened with time, building up until it shattered at last. He had survived everything his life had thrown at him, except for that! And yet, he survived and lived and tried to find new love and tried to forget the horrors of the past. And so, had even that truly actually broken him? If he had been shattered entirely... could he still be walking about and able to reason in the way that he still could! He was a survivor, he told himself, and not quite shattered yet. But how long he mused, until the inevitable shattering at last came? He hoped to find the love he sought before such a thing could happen to him. He pondered this as he ignored that dreadful high school and by the time he was securely in the woods and away from humanity he allowed himself to be distracted by the natural beauty of the present surroundings. He used to fancy that perhaps he might meet a woman from the land of Faerie in those woods, and that with her he could leave this cruel world behind and venture with her into a wonderland wherein love and light would be all he knew. It was a childish fantasy, but the power of it gripped his imagination even now, and the more the years passed the more he clung to such fine and fair imaginings in order to ease the torments of years past. But he longed for tender lips to kiss and a beautiful maiden to be at his side and in his arms once again. His soul was ancient, and full of pain!
It was well after 3:30 in the afternoon, and all the children were getting out of school at that time. As it was every day. He always avoided the paths that ran between the middle school and the park, around that time, because he wished not to be in the way of the children that walked those old wooded paths on their way home. Plus, the last time he had encountered a certain girl bound along that way, he became a bit too smitten with her and nearly followed her home with even he knew not what intent. He never did that again after that, because it was too tempting in all the wrong ways. And so on this occasion, he did keep to a more distant part of the forest far from those paths. He walked through the woods where when he was still a teenager he had practiced magical druid arts, and still did he feel the sacredness that clung to the trees therein. This was a blessed place, a place of power and sometimes he wondered if it was in truth only he who could truly and fully appreciate such a realization. He heard in the distance the sound of the children... their laughter, their cries, their joys and their angers. And he envied the ones that were able to have friends and who were not outcasts like he had always been. He turned his attention to the singing of the birds, and went deeper into the woods. Eventually, he came to a section of the park that was close to a sports field that on many weekends children could be seen playing at. It was empty... and one could see the mountain looming much closer here than perhaps anywhere else in town, save for the roads that road up it or along the base of it. Most children were on their way home right now, and most parents were either taking their children home themselves or waiting for them to get back from school. There would be no one at the park's two playgrounds at this hour, and so the lonely man walked across the field to the road that did run and wind all through the park. The road made a big circle towards the back, and a single long road leading off of that circle in the front left the park by its' main entrance. A playground was in the front of the park, and a second one was in the middle just before the circle began, where the long road met the circle. Waters that were connected to the pond lay all along vast stretches of the park's borders, the same waters that ran behind the cemetery also. Fishing landings could be seen here and there by those waters, though at this time of day there were no fishermen at them. The man of which this story is concerned did walk along the circular road, reaching it upon leaving the sports field behind him, and in a leisurely manner he made his way to the playground in the middle of the park. He had some measure of nostalgia for it, because he played there as a child and found it a delightful place. On this particular occasion, he was surprised to see a young child... a little girl of perhaps nine years of age... sitting upon one of the swings of the playground's swing sets. Her eyes were closed, and she had the appearance of someone who had just fallen asleep or who was lost in thought. Her parents were no place to be found or seen anywhere about. The man looked at the little girl and smiled. She was pretty! Angelically pretty, to his eyes. She was a bit on the pale side, but not unhealthily so. Her body was very healthy in it's build too... she was not skinny, but not overweight either. There was something to her, in contrast to the skinniness of some children her age. Her hair, was raven black... and she was wearing a pair of baggy dark magenta colored sweatpants with a frilly sleeveless soft pink blouse tucked into the pants. Her jacket was on the ground next to the swing set, and her book bag was sitting on top of it. She had come from school, obviously, but why was she not on her way home? This seemed just a bit weird. But no stranger than the fact that despite it being only the first week of June, it was as hot as if it was in the very middle of summer rather than the start of it thanks to a heat wave that came in two phases, one milder one lasting from April to June of that year followed by a more severe one that arrived fast on the heels of it. Speaking of which... it was the last day of school, for that year, and one would have thought for certain that, if nothing else, that would have put a spring in this girl's step, hastening her on her way home. But she seemed to be in no hurry to open her eyes and rush upon her way. The man approached the child, and asked in as gentle a manner as possible: “Little girl, are you alright?” and she opened her eyes and said to him: “Sure! I'm fine, I was just daydreaming a bit, nothing to worry about mister.” She was smiling warmly, in a way that was as sunny as the day had been. Her eyes were a shade of hazel.
She remained sitting on the swing, staring at the man. She mashed some anthills into the dirt with her sneakers, and giggled a bit as the ants scattered from the remnants of their homes. “Playing a game of 'torture the ants'?” the man asked her, to which she replied: “It's not really torture, I'm only playing with them is all. You know, I really am okay, you can go now if you were worried about me.” But the man so confessed to her honestly: “I don't really want to go home just yet, myself. It's too nice a day out today, to stay indoors.” And the little girl's eyes went wide and she grinned brightly as she said: “Oh yeah, me too! I mean, that's why I'm here and not heading home just yet.” The man asked her after that: “Would it be okay if I hung out with you here? Since neither of us is in any hurry to go home right now.” And the little girl surprised him greatly by saying: “Sure, why not? You seem nice!” because most people never wanted him around, it seemed. He used to be highly introverted... but found he could open up when he was around children more than he could around adults. It helped him to overcome that introversion the more he talked to and spent time with children. That was why he used to do mentoring... for the kids at the library... and that was how he had met the girl from India who had touched his heart there. He sat on the swing right next to the one the little girl was sitting on, and these swings were big enough for either an adult or a child so that was fine. She looked over at him, and asked: “Give me a push?”. He nodded in agreement and rushed up to give her a push. When his hand touched her back to do this, he realized that this was the first time he had touched someone so young in what seemed to him to be a very long time. She was enjoying this, and soon was swinging with undisguised joy. The man sat back down on his swing to watch her, and he had to admit to himself that he thought she was beautiful as she laughed and smiled and enjoyed herself so innocently. Her black hair was long and wavy, and the way she was tossing it about as she swung to and fro was a pleasant sight to see. Like strands of night, her hair was, defying the tyranny of the day and its' heat. “Come on, you swing too!” she cried out playfully, and he obliged her wishes and it was the first time he swung on these swings since he had been in his twenties. It felt good, and made him forget his troubles for a time. Once both of them became exhausted a bit, the little girl walked over and grabbed the man's arm. “Come on, let's go for a walk!” she said, and he was of a similar mind that a relaxing walk would be just the thing. And in such wonderful company, also! It was more than he had hoped for, truthfully. He stood up, and she put her jacket back on and carried her book bag in her left hand. Her right hand, she put in the man's hand as the pair of them walked off into the woods along one of the nearby trails. “So, what's your name?” he asked the little girl as they strolled along, going nowhere specific. She smiled and looked at the ground ahead of them as she said in that oh so sweet voice she had: “Cassie. What's yours?” and the man said to her: “You can just call me J, that'd be fine.” and she teased him by saying: “That's a letter, not a name! Okay, actually it's a name too if you spell it like j-a-y but if it's just J then that's a letter.” And J explained to her: “It's a letter, I'll admit, but it stands for my name, and to be honest I don't like my name so I prefer it if people just call me J.” Which made sense to the little girl, who admitted: “That does make lots of sense! So yeah, J it is.” So after that the little girl asked: “What's your last name?” to which he responded: “Tell me yours and I'll tel you my own.” She grinned mischievously, and answered: “Nah, I don't want to. So... you don't have to either, if you don't feel like it.” And neither of them divulged their last names to each other. “Hey, mister! How old are you?” the little girl asked, and the man called J told her: “I'm thirty six. What's your age?” and she said to him: “I'm only ten, and you're about my daddy's age.” He chuckled a bit, and told her: “You know, I was close! I thought you were nine, actually.” and she jokingly replied: “What can I say, I look young for my age?” and the two of them laughed as they walked through the woods hand in hand. And neither of them thought it was strange that each was in no hurry to get home despite the hour growing increasingly later. It had to be almost 4:00 if not later by the time they roamed through the woods until they had circled the whole distance of the trail that ran behind the circular road, arriving in the farthest sections of the forest. They had passed all of the fishing landings, sticking to the back trail all that time.
Finally, they reached a place where they had to get unto the road and then off it again, as they passed that sports field mentioned previously and proceeded to venture unto the trails that lay beyond it on its' farthest end. They passed some swampy areas, and places where someone had attempted to use wooden planks as makeshift bridges, and eventually they came to a place where some old rusted cars and other vehicles had been taken into the woods and left to rot in a kind of backwoods junkyard. Past that, they came to where the part of town known as The Plains began. Whatever it actually was called, everybody called it by that name because of all the farmlands and fields out that way. The whole town was full of the typical charm that a great many New England towns possess, with a modern vibrancy that exists in tandem with elements from decades long, long past. The Plains was a part of town that retained a lot of the elements that this town had back in the nineteenth century, and perhaps earlier. The farmlands were an example of that, and though the farms now used modern methods they still looked very much as they had back during those other bygone centuries. There was a back road that ran out of the park and out on through the beginning of The Plains. But Cassie and J did not take that road... instead, opting to go by a lot more remote paths that led them out to the edge of a vast stretch of cornfields that was nestled below the gaze of the great mountain beyond. It was such a remote location that no one could be seen or heard for a great distance in all directions. Though a farmhouse could be seen on the far side of the cornfields. The little girl sat on the ground to catch her breath after so much walking, and J sat down next to her as he put his arm around her and held her close to him. “This is nice!” Cassie said happily. She asked her new companion: “You ever come out this way, J?” and he admitted: “Only once, and that by accident. It was in a bad part of this section of town though, a place where they were growing drugs. I was lucky to get away from there with my life!” then he looked about, and remarked: “But this place here, it's really, really nice I have to admit. I like it very much! It's nice and quiet. And it's nowhere near that bad place.” The little girl reached over and held the man's hands in her own, her eyes gazing into eyes. “You look so kind, but so sad too, like you've been through a whole lot. Want to talk about it?” And he found that he was able to tell her everything, and for a couple of hours he told her his life's story. She said to him after that: “I could... I could try to make you happy, if you like.” and he said to her in response to such an offer: “Sure, I'd like that! What do you have in mind?” and she kissed him on the cheek and said in a sweet tone of voice: “There! Mommy and daddy always kiss me like that and it makes me feel all better when I'm feeling sad.” He kissed her on her cheek, and ran his hand through her hair, feeling how soft it was, and how the tresses of it felt between his fingers. “Can I show you a better way to kiss?” he asked her, and she said: “Okay, sure!” and he told her: “This is how your Mommy and Daddy kiss each other, to make each other feel better.” Following him telling her this, he kissed her lips and mouth and he put his tongue in her mouth and kissed her passionately and lustily. She moaned a bit, but did not attempt to pull away or stop the kiss. Instead... she wiggled her own tongue around, and somehow, she managed to do it right and the kiss between the pair romantically deepened. When the kiss ended and their lips did withdraw from each other, the little girl said: “My older sister kisses her boyfriend like that! I've always wondered what it felt like... but, my parents told me it's yucky for me to think about stuff like that at my age.” J then told her honestly: “It's not yucky, as you can see! In fact, a lot of things they probably told you were not right for someone your age are actually just as enjoyable as that kiss we just shared.” Her eyes widened again, and she asked the man: “Like what? Oh, could you show me maybe! I'd love it, if you showed me stuff like that. My sister gets to have all the fun, all the time, while me I get in trouble if I don't do things like other girls my age. It's not fair!” Then, J held her hands softly in his, tightening his grip on her hands just a little bit as he promised her: “If you really want me to, I'll show you lots of very fun things we can do together that are more for older girls.” She calmed down a bit, having gotten a bit excited at the very prospect of learning these new, adult things. Then, she said innocently: “Okay! I'm ready whenever you are, J. What do you want to show me first?” He so began by kissing her lips again.
Then, he kissed her neck and nibbled her ears a bit, playfully. She gasped a little, and closed her eyes as she took in the new and different sensations this filled her young body with. He ran his hands across her chest, caressing her chest as his hands went along. He felt her soft, tender skin beneath her blouse, and it felt so silky and so sensual to his touch that he found himself becoming aroused. He went back to caressing her hair, and after that he ran his hands over her legs, over her thighs and when they did reach those he squeezed her thighs a bit before placing his hand between her legs and touching her in a place that her parents had told her no one was ever supposed to touch her. She said, to him: “J, my mom and dad both told me if anyone ever touched me down there... I was supposed to yell for help, scream, and kick them really, really hard right where it counts.” He asked her: “Please don't, Cassie! I only want to make you feel good is all.” And she told him in reply: “I know that! I mean, I can tell... so I'm not going to listen to my parents just this once. I saw my sister's boyfriend touching her down there one night, and she really, really was enjoying it lots and lots. I want to find out why! So please J... if you show me why she liked it so much and if I end up liking it too, I'll be so happy.” He then asked her: “Okay, but I want you to promise me you won't tell anybody about the things we're doing together. Promise me, alright?” And she agreed, nodding her head energetically as she said: “Promise! Cross my heart and hope to die.” Then, he went back to feeling her between her legs. All she was ever taught, is that is where a girl pees out of, so she never imagined that someone rubbing her and feeling her like this could feel... like it did. Good is how it felt, but she had no word to describe that, no way of know that good is what this was. It was very, very good though! Even better when he untied her pants and put his hand down them, down her underwear, and she could feel his fingers over her vulva. Oh the things those fingers did, and how it was so different from anything that she had ever felt or experienced before! He did not finger her hole, just yet... but he did touch her, and caress her, and rub her in the delightful ways he knew would bring her pleasure. Even if she was too young to truly understand the meaning of such pleasure. He was hard for her, his cock... his manhood... growing in his pants from the excitement of his playtime with Cassie. He told her to touch him between his legs, and he guided her hand to the bulge in his pants. She asked him what that was, and he told her it was what all boys have between their legs, a penis... but that when a boy is doing things like this with a girl, then his penis gets hard and that is because he likes her a lot. Cassie then admitted: “Your penis is so hard, J! If that's because you like me, then you must like me a whole, whole lot.” His breath was quickening with the excitement of just how wrong and yet just how right all of this truly was, and how good it felt for her hand to be touching his cock. He guided her hand and taught her how to caress him down there. He then undid the drawstring of his own pants... and after that pulled them down along with his underwear. She saw his penis, erect between his legs, and he took her hand and placed it over it. He then told her just how to squeeze it, pleasurably but not too hard, and taught her just how to stroke it and jerk it... after a bit, he asked her to kiss it, and then told her to put it into her mouth and to slide her mouth up and down upon it. Whilst she was doing this, he asked her to lick it with her tongue and suck on it gently, which she did... not really knowing what it was she was in the process of doing. But, she did it all the same, and by the smile upon J's face she was doing it very, very perfectly and well. He then said to her: “Now I'm going to show you how your parents show love to each other when nobody else is around, when they're in their bedroom together while you're asleep.” To which she asked him, taking a break from sucking upon his cock to do so... clearing her throat a bit before speaking: “Is it more stuff like the things we've been doing?” and he told her that it was, but that it was even better. She got very excited and admitted to him: “I like everything we've been doing so far, so I just know I'll like this stuff too. When do we get started?” and he had her take off her jacket and lay it flat upon the ground. Then, he pushed her back unto it, instructing her to lay on her back on her jacket as he did so. He pulled her pants off, and then slid her underwear off after that. He asked her to spread her legs apart as far as she could, and he helped her to do that too... pushing them apart, with his hands.
He then took his fully erect cock, and began to insert it up into her cunt. He pushed it inward, trying to be as careful as he could not to hurt her in any way... and it was a tight, very tight fit. He could only fit just so much of his manhood into her without doing her serious harm due to her young age and the size of his penis compared to her little girl's hole... but it was enough, and it would do nicely. He began to fuck her, pushing in and out of her faster and faster but not too fast. In the course of this penetration, the little girl felt something between her legs tear and she could feel the blood of her broken hymen as that blood flowed forth from her stolen virginity. “Oh, ow, ow ow that really, really hurts!” she cried, in a shrill but thankfully not too loud of a manner. J told her: “I know it does... it always does for the very first time honey! It's okay, it's okay... it'll get better. This is only because you've never done this before.” He asked her to try and keep her voice down, so she sobbed a bit in a more quiet way, her tears flowing from her eyes. He knew she was in pain from losing her virginity this early in life, and he wished there was a way to do this without causing her any pain at all... but such was simply not possible. Her crying turned to moaning after a while, and during the course of his ravishment of the child he soon reached the point of climax and shot the full load of his orgasm, into her no longer virgin cunt. Once he made sure it was all inside her, he pulled out of her and kissed her cheek tenderly. Then, he wiped her tears away, and she said to him through her tears and pain: “Why did you hurt me? I thought it was going to feel good!” And he said to her softly: “I know, I know... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry it hurt. But, when a girl loses her virginity, it does hurt sweetheart. That's just how it is. As you get older, and the more you do this with someone, the less it will hurt and the better it will feel. And you will never bleed like this ever again, that only happens the very, very first time ever. Which for you, this was!” She had glanced down and saw the blood during the course of her ravishment, and that had made her feel very scared. “So, it'll stop bleeding and hurting?” and he promised her: “Yes, darling! Of course it will.” And as they did lay there together for three or four long hours, it did indeed stop bleeding even as the pain began to finally go away as well. “I think my jacket's going to be ruined.” the girl said, and her lover said to her in reply to that: “Just blame one of the local boys for the whole mess. Pick a guy who kind of looks like me but isn't, and tell your parents he raped you. Who's ever going to know the truth?” The little girl said to the man: “I wish I could go home with you and live with you. I hate my parents! They like to hit me and my father beats me whenever I do something bad. If he thinks I had... sex, as my sister calls it... he'll likely kill me. I'm not even kidding, he'll literally really honest to goodness kill me!” And the man thought on back to the loss of his first love, and how she had been murdered by her father. He could not bear it, if the same fate were to befall this sweet child! He asked her, curious to know: “How did you know what this was called, that it's called sex?” The little girl explained: “Like I said... my sister calls it that, and I saw her, I saw her doing it with her boyfriend! Like, on several occasions. Okay? They did it sometimes when he pulled up in his convertible and she got in the car with him. I had... an idea... of what you were going to do to me, I just didn't know it was going to hurt. I guess my sister must have done it a lot for it to feel good like it does for her.” J then inquired: “How old is your sister?” and Cassie replied: “Oh she is a lot older than me... she's fifteen, and I think I heard daddy say once that her first time was when she was thirteen. He was really mad at her, when that happened! So mad, he dragged her into his room and whatever he did to her in there... she was only wearing some of her clothes when she came out. Do you think he spanked her, or something? Her blouse was open... and she was missing her bra and her skirt.” He honestly told her upon hearing that: “I think... I think he had sex with her, Cassie. And I think that, maybe, you shouldn't go back there to them. Do you have any relatives who could take you in and keep you away from your mom and dad?” The little girl then said: “I used to, but it was a very long time ago and I haven't visited them in an even longer time. Want me to show you where they live? It's a long way off from here... and it looks like it's nighttime now... but I'm feeling better enough that a walk wouldn't be a problem.” She did appear to be feeling a lot better, and it looked like a beautiful night for a walk.
The pair dressed themselves once again, and the little girl picked up her jacket and carried it under her left arm whilst holding J's hand with her right hand. She was no longer mad at him, and was happy that he had explained to her the reason for the pain she had experienced during the loss of her virginity. She couldn't imagine ever doing it... having sex... with any other man though. A part of her was starting, just beginning, to fall in love with J, and she wished with all her heart that she could be with him. And if the truth were to be told, he felt the same way about her. They walked along back paths and winding roads, the summer night bringing with it the sound of crickets and the appearance of fireflies, in all the fields and near some of the woods. “If anybody asks, just tell them you're my daddy.” she told J as they took several roads that were well off the usual ways that either of them normally walked. She knew nobody would, after all down these particular roads no one she knew ever traveled... and for his part, J was not used to this direction they were heading off in. She said to him quite out of the blue after some time of their walking like this: “I wish we could get married, but I'm too young. Mom always said you're only supposed to do things like what we did together after you get married and only to someone you love.” J confessed to her: “I think I am starting to fall in love with you, Cassie.” and she admitted to him: “And I think I feel the same way about you, J.” They then stopped by the roadside on the edge of some farms on the outskirts of town and there under the moon's light and beneath countless stars... they shared once more a passionate kiss. He had to bend down a bit to kiss her, and she had to stretch a bit to reach him, but they managed it and enjoyed the experience. No one was around, to see them do this... so they took their time and did not rush to cease the kiss once they felt it deepening. After it was over, they kept on walking and the little girl told her beloved exactly where she wanted them to go, which roads to take... and which directions those roads went in. “It isn't too far off, honest!” she proclaimed at one point. “I know, I know... I said that a while back too, but truly we're nearly there. My relatives live not far from where we're at right now.” At first she had walked very unsteadily, but during the course of all the long walking she and J did after their lovemaking... she was regaining her strength and feeling back to more than a semblance of her old self once again. They were presently on the border between this town and a neighboring village that exists as a part of a much larger city that lies to the north of it. How long it was that they had been walking, neither of them could guess... but it had to have been well after midnight by the time they reached where they were at the moment. All that movement caused Cassie to bleed just a bit further now and then, and every once in a while the pain came back only to go away once more. But in spite of all that, she felt a rush of energy within her, and perhaps that was due to the love she felt in her heart for the man at her side. Even as wrong as it was that they felt as they did for each other in the eyes of the law... they were, regardless of that, extremely happy. Soon afterwards, they reached a place where an old house that appeared long abandoned sat by the roadside, surrounded by wild looking trees, and hedges grown too high and thick to be reasonable. No car was in the driveway... and the garage had the appearance of having not been used in decades. Cassie stopped in her tracks, as she pointed over to the house, and declared cheerily: “This is the place! That's where my relatives live... like I said, it's been a very, very long time since I've seen them.” That house was not merely appearing as if it had been long abandoned, it actually was... the front door was all boarded up, and all of the windows of the house had wooden boards in place of the actual windows themselves. The condition of the house, was such that it had a distinct appearance of having at one point survived a terrible fire. Which likely accounted for the windows all being broken, as well as the glass that once was upon the door being missing. The glass of every window in the house would have been broken outwards by such a blaze... or by anyone trying to escape from such an inferno. Cassie called out to the house, called the names of her relatives, but none of them answered her. J turned to the little girl and said to her grimly: “Cassie... I don't think that they're living here anymore.” Nobody was. But the little girl was insistent, claiming: “No, J, you're wrong! You can see the lights on in the house, right? And the car is right there in the driveway, too. This is... weird!”
She was seeing the house as it used to be, not as it was now. “Cassie, what year do you think it is?” J asked her, and she seemed to have trouble recalling the year. He told her truthfully: “It is 2010, Cassie.” She screamed when he told her that. “No, it... it can't be 2010! No, when I fell asleep while visiting my relatives it was... it was... I think the year on the calendar on the wall said it was 1984.” J then told the child the simple truth. He said to her: “1984? I was ten years old myself back in that year! Honey, I do honestly hate to break it to you but... it honestly is 2010 now, and that house doesn't look like you think it does anymore. It's abandoned now, and it looks like there was a fire that happened there. A bad fire!” to which Cassie explained: “It was early June, school had just gotten out... I was late getting home, so instead of going home to my parents I came here to stay with my relatives and think about what I was going to do next. I was scared my dad was going to beat the crap out of me for getting home so late, and I asked my aunt and uncle to smooth things over with my parents for me. They promised they'd just call them up on the phone that night and make things okay so that the next day they could take me on home without me having to be afraid. I fell asleep early that night because I was tired from walking so far. It got really, really hot... during the night... and I had a weird nightmare that I woke up surrounded by fire, and flames, and everything was dark and smoky and my aunt and uncle were screaming. I tried to wake up from that nightmare, but I couldn't! There was so much smoke I couldn't breathe, and I passed out in the dream from the heat, and the smoke, filling up my lungs. When I woke up, I was... I was...” and she realized the truth then, at last. It had not been a nightmare, and she never did wake up from that dream. “Cassie... where is your house... where do your parents live?” asked J, and she said to him truthfully: “I can't remember anymore... I was never able to find it again, and every day I go back to the woods at the park and to the playground where you met me. I play there for a while just like I did on that day back in 1984, but everyone who goes there always acts like they can't see me for some reason. Then I walk for a long time... and I think I fall asleep or something because I dream that I'm in a strange place that isn't of this world at all, it's like something out of a weird movie. And, when I wake up, I feel like I need to just go back to the park and do everything all over again. I must have been doing this for... a lot of years, it seems! Oh my God! J, this means I'm... I'm...” And he said to her what she could not say: “You're dead, sweetheart, and a spirit now. A ghost! But even so... I love you.” She said to him with tears in her eyes, her voice quivering with terror: “Oh, J... I love you too, I love you too! But I... I think I need to go, the other place, the weird place I always see in my dreams or whatever they are, it's calling to me again and this time I don't think it'll ever let me leave it again. But, I don't want to go there, I just want... I want to be with you, I want to come and live with you.” He then said to her truly: “That place is where the dead go when their time comes to do so, and it is where you need to be! One day... someday... I, will go there also, and we will meet once again. So wait for me, Cassie! However long the wait must be... since such a wait will only be until the end of my life. And, a single lifetime is never as long as we should prefer it to be.” She told him after hearing him explain that to her: “I know... I don't know how, or why, I know... but I know that everything you just told me is the truth. J... I'll wait for you I promise. On the other side, in that other world, I'll be waiting! Apparently, a single lifetime can be very short sometimes. But I hope you live longer, and happier, than I did. Thank you though... thank you... for letting me experience what it's like to know love like a grown woman does.” And they embraced once more, and kissed one final, passionate time... and when that final kiss ended, the little girl faded into thin air like the ghost she was. J was crying, sobbing, at having to let her go into the other world beyond life's confines. He was alone again, and when he turned around he saw only a vacant lot where that old house was a moment before. His gift of spiritual sight had allowed him to see it as it once was before it had been torn down, though it was not enough to show him how it was before the tragic fire had claimed it. Cassie could only see it that way, and when she crossed over into the afterlife that awaited her... J could not see the old house of her aunt and uncle at all any longer. He began the long trek back to his home town, his heart very heavy.
Upon the way, his body feeling wearing from the lengthy walk that had consumed most of his day and a good portion of his night... in between the pleasant time he had spent with poor, tragic Cassie... he did in no great haste though in a great desire to get home and rest, finally arrive back in the familiar parts of town wherein his home, the house of his family, was. It was sometime after midnight for certain, and no means of knowing just how much after the witching hour it was, was at hand. J had never worn a watch when he went out, and he had not worn one since his school days. He disliked any and all reminders of the time, and he preferred to imagine on most days that time had no power over him and no important meaning for him. When he had to know the hour, that was one thing... but for the most part, he felt as if it was a morbid reminder of the fleetingness of mortal life. It was not that he longed for immortality, or that he disliked that time passed... it was that he wished more oft than not that he could pause time and cease its' passing whenever he knew moments of happiness. Because those moments, for him, were but precious few in number and he never wanted to let go of them. It was not enough for something to live on in his memories, he wanted the happy times to continue without end for all eternity. And in that way, perhaps it was the only kind of immortality he craved... the immortality of happiness. He was brooding heavily on these matters as he finally caught sight of the pond and the familiar streets that ran through the areas surrounding it that indicated he was almost home. He lived only two streets away from it, that pond, and once there he would go to his bedroom and fall into a sleep born from exhaustion and a very slight but unpleasant sensation of depression. There was a splendid wooden gazebo in a small stretch of park area that so existed between the long street that ran in front of the pond and the far shorter street as did lead to the adjoining street on which J's house was. Sitting in the gazebo was a girl who could have easily been the twin of Cassie. Noticing that J was staring at her whilst passing by, she yelled out to the man before he was too far past: “Hey, mister! Come over here a minute, will you?” and he did as she so asked. She was alone in that gazebo and there was nobody else around or even out and about at such a late hour. He asked her: “Hello little girl! What do you want?” And he said that with caring rather than with the annoyance some adults add to “What do you want?” when speaking to children. She said unto him in reply: “I can't find one of my sneakers, I think I lost it in the bushes nearby... could you help me look for it?” and he agreed to do so. Upon finding it, he placed it on her foot, and she said to him: “I'm not supposed to be out this late, and my parents are probably going to kill me in the morning! I know it is going to sound really, really loony but... if you live nearby, can I stay the night with you?” He nodded in agreement, and said to her: “Sure thing, come along! It's just right up that street... over there.” and he did point to the street he was referring to. She put her hand in his, and had in her other hand a book bag and her jacket. He offered to carry her book bag for her, and she let him. J then so asked the child: “So, what's your name? As for me, you can just call me J.” She had one of those delighted expressions happy children oft have playing about their face in the best of times. And, in such spirits, she said unto J: “My name's Casey.” and then she stared up at him and asked curiously: “Why do I have a feeling like we met someplace before? It's really weird!” and he gazed into her eyes lovingly as they continued along, right away saying to her in answer to her question: “It is weird! But in a good way. Who knows... maybe we did meet someplace before, in another life?” He knew it was Cassie reincarnated, and came to the very reasonable realization that the ghost he had been with, for so many hours... was a residual spirit that had split off from Cassie when she died, becoming its' own entity in the process. Whilst the rest of her spirit had gone on and reincarnated in the form of Casey. With that ghost having been laid to rest, so to speak, it was remarkable that in the same night J should have encountered the girl whose living body had in it the rest of Cassie's spirit. It was remarkable, seemingly impossible, but delightful all the same. She did smile in such a peculiar way that it seemed as if she realized this man was far more than familiar to her. But J did not realize, that Cassie had not entered into the afterlife... she reunited with the remainder of her spirit in Casey's body, drawn to it by the powers that be. That night... they would fall in love, again.
The summer heat was of that warm caressing variety that, when the most perverse and delicious types of thoughts come into one's mind, it causes one to feel an increase in their desires. The kind of heat that leads to thirst, the sort of thirst that is also a hunger! To know such heat, is to know desire beyond one's ability to resist... and in such moments when that hunger is upon a person, a certain type of person who is affected, or perhaps afflicted, by such things then there is no temptation that such a one will not give into. It was such a summer when the strange man walked along the path that left the woods in which he was walking, and followed the road past the nearby cemetery as he strode without any real purpose at all in mind towards the direction of town. This was one of those small towns that grew just enough to be technically considered a city, and by the year of 2010 A.D. … this particular town had become just large enough that such was the case in regards to it. It was nestled beneath a great mountain that did in its' majestic splendor dominate one's view whenever they cast their eyes in its' direction. It was quite a commanding sight, and oft the strange man thought about how those modern metal towers that sat upon the top of the mountain ever so slightly ruined the natural beauty of it. Past the cemetery was a pond at which one could oft see old men fishing and younger people boating upon its' peaceful waters. Once, it had been polluted but over time it had been cleaned up and now it was pristine to look upon. It occurred to the strange man of which this story concerns that he felt rather awkward upon seeing this drastically contrasting variety of ages... neither of which he belonged to. He was not old, being only thirty six years of age as of the past month of March... but he was no longer in his twenties, and that made him fell less than exactly young. He feared growing old, but his younger years had been filled with pain, tragedy, and horrors of the sort that should technically have broken him. And yet, none of it did. He had survived to see the present year, and the things he had survived should have killed him. But none of it did! He had been brooding upon his past all that week, and refused to accept that he should exist as an outcast that is shunned by society, which is what he felt like. He had lived his whole life in that town, ever since he had been an innocent five year old child, and once he had hated and despised that place for causing him to feel like the outcast he never wanted to be considered. He oft left home around noon to go about his various errands in town, but sometimes like on the day this story is relating at present he had no actual purpose to the walks he went on, and it seemed to him that he was searching for something. A means to end his loneliness, which was consuming him. No one ever sets out to do things that would be viewed as evil, wicked, or immoral by society... but sometimes, a person can be driven too far, and in such hard moments anyone would finally go just mad enough to finally cross certain lines. He planned to stay out until late afternoon, and around 5:00 he would go home. Back to the house he grew up in, the house he cried so much in, the house he experienced so many of his past tragedies in. He hated that place, but at the same time he loved it because it was his home, and that contrast of love and hate was not unusual. He smiled as he remembered that time when his daily schedule had been all screwed up because he had developed the habit of keeping hours quite in the reverse of the normal... during that span, he had slept through the day and been active only at night. But this disagreed with him, and so he had gotten back in the more correct habit of being active by day and sleeping at night. Though his experiences in this town had caused him to feel like an outcast, he did not want to be totally divorced from humanity. He had a fantasy that one day he would find love whilst out on these walks of his, and he knew in his heart that it was a foolish, overly romantic notion. A fool's dream! But what was the last dream he had to be happy about? The dream he and his first love had shared, when they were both sixteen years old... just before her father had murdered her... an act that had shattered the tragic couple's shared dream forever. And then, there was that young little girl he had met at the local library, who was long since departed back to India along with her family... it had been six years since she had gone from his life, and in all the time since then he had not met anyone who had been that child's equal in his heart. He needed a new dream.
Sometimes whilst walking through town, he saw happy couples walking together hand in hand, and it drove him mad with jealousy because he desired to be loved, and to love another, with that kind of very evident happiness to fill the places in his heart where the promise of such happiness used to be. So mad did it drive him, that sometimes if he thought the woman or girl was a pretty one he fantasized in a dark and terrible way about murdering the lucky fellow he had seen on this occasion or that and taking away the fellow's beloved so she could become his own. Yet, he never acted upon that impulse, considering it more wise to keep searching for whatever love the powers that be might see fit to send his way. On this day, he grew disgusted with conducting such a search in town... and felt the effort on that day to be just a futile one at best. And so, he turned his back on the main street of town and ventured back toward the direction of the pond. Then... he passed first the pond and then the cemetery, before going back into the woods of the park that was beyond the graveyard's farthest boundaries. The park itself directly bordered the middle school that this man had attended when he was growing up, and as he passed on by his old high school, which was just across the street from the cemetery... he remembered his sixteenth year all over again. How he had been driven to quit school by circumstances that had spiraled out of control. It was too much for him being bullied every day, and not fitting in with anyone, and on top of that it was no secret that the school had a serious drug problem. Which was at odds with his morals and ethics, for he chose in life to keep his body clean and free of things such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco or even coffee. He only drank water, juice, tea or hot chocolate, and nothing more harsh on the body than that. But, so bad was that high school's drug problem that the horrible people who had bullied him would beat him brutally every time he refused their offer of drugs. He could easily defend himself, but what point was there in doing so when every time he did, it was always he and only he who got in trouble for doing so! By chance the teachers never caught the bullies in the act of doing their bullying, but unluckily they always caught him whenever he threw even a single punch in his own defense. The whole situation there was beyond unfair, and what few friends he had, if any, never seemed to stay in his life for very long... and none of them had ever defended him. So it was he sat alone at the lunch table. The boys all bullied him, and the girls looked down on him even though they used to allow him to sit at their table. The principal felt sorry for him, and so allowed the teenager to eat his lunches at home, which he did. Eventually, the school had him on half days to minimize the bullying he was enduring even more. But even this did not stop it entirely, and so in the end he made the choice to quit school when he turned sixteen. And the rest of the events of that year had traumatized him for life in more ways than obvious. The same year he lost her... the first love of his life... to her father's brutish penchant for violence. That death had been honestly the only thing in his life that could be said to have truly broken him. But it did so in a way that caused fine cracks at first that widened with time, building up until it shattered at last. He had survived everything his life had thrown at him, except for that! And yet, he survived and lived and tried to find new love and tried to forget the horrors of the past. And so, had even that truly actually broken him? If he had been shattered entirely... could he still be walking about and able to reason in the way that he still could! He was a survivor, he told himself, and not quite shattered yet. But how long he mused, until the inevitable shattering at last came? He hoped to find the love he sought before such a thing could happen to him. He pondered this as he ignored that dreadful high school and by the time he was securely in the woods and away from humanity he allowed himself to be distracted by the natural beauty of the present surroundings. He used to fancy that perhaps he might meet a woman from the land of Faerie in those woods, and that with her he could leave this cruel world behind and venture with her into a wonderland wherein love and light would be all he knew. It was a childish fantasy, but the power of it gripped his imagination even now, and the more the years passed the more he clung to such fine and fair imaginings in order to ease the torments of years past. But he longed for tender lips to kiss and a beautiful maiden to be at his side and in his arms once again. His soul was ancient, and full of pain!
It was well after 3:30 in the afternoon, and all the children were getting out of school at that time. As it was every day. He always avoided the paths that ran between the middle school and the park, around that time, because he wished not to be in the way of the children that walked those old wooded paths on their way home. Plus, the last time he had encountered a certain girl bound along that way, he became a bit too smitten with her and nearly followed her home with even he knew not what intent. He never did that again after that, because it was too tempting in all the wrong ways. And so on this occasion, he did keep to a more distant part of the forest far from those paths. He walked through the woods where when he was still a teenager he had practiced magical druid arts, and still did he feel the sacredness that clung to the trees therein. This was a blessed place, a place of power and sometimes he wondered if it was in truth only he who could truly and fully appreciate such a realization. He heard in the distance the sound of the children... their laughter, their cries, their joys and their angers. And he envied the ones that were able to have friends and who were not outcasts like he had always been. He turned his attention to the singing of the birds, and went deeper into the woods. Eventually, he came to a section of the park that was close to a sports field that on many weekends children could be seen playing at. It was empty... and one could see the mountain looming much closer here than perhaps anywhere else in town, save for the roads that road up it or along the base of it. Most children were on their way home right now, and most parents were either taking their children home themselves or waiting for them to get back from school. There would be no one at the park's two playgrounds at this hour, and so the lonely man walked across the field to the road that did run and wind all through the park. The road made a big circle towards the back, and a single long road leading off of that circle in the front left the park by its' main entrance. A playground was in the front of the park, and a second one was in the middle just before the circle began, where the long road met the circle. Waters that were connected to the pond lay all along vast stretches of the park's borders, the same waters that ran behind the cemetery also. Fishing landings could be seen here and there by those waters, though at this time of day there were no fishermen at them. The man of which this story is concerned did walk along the circular road, reaching it upon leaving the sports field behind him, and in a leisurely manner he made his way to the playground in the middle of the park. He had some measure of nostalgia for it, because he played there as a child and found it a delightful place. On this particular occasion, he was surprised to see a young child... a little girl of perhaps nine years of age... sitting upon one of the swings of the playground's swing sets. Her eyes were closed, and she had the appearance of someone who had just fallen asleep or who was lost in thought. Her parents were no place to be found or seen anywhere about. The man looked at the little girl and smiled. She was pretty! Angelically pretty, to his eyes. She was a bit on the pale side, but not unhealthily so. Her body was very healthy in it's build too... she was not skinny, but not overweight either. There was something to her, in contrast to the skinniness of some children her age. Her hair, was raven black... and she was wearing a pair of baggy dark magenta colored sweatpants with a frilly sleeveless soft pink blouse tucked into the pants. Her jacket was on the ground next to the swing set, and her book bag was sitting on top of it. She had come from school, obviously, but why was she not on her way home? This seemed just a bit weird. But no stranger than the fact that despite it being only the first week of June, it was as hot as if it was in the very middle of summer rather than the start of it thanks to a heat wave that came in two phases, one milder one lasting from April to June of that year followed by a more severe one that arrived fast on the heels of it. Speaking of which... it was the last day of school, for that year, and one would have thought for certain that, if nothing else, that would have put a spring in this girl's step, hastening her on her way home. But she seemed to be in no hurry to open her eyes and rush upon her way. The man approached the child, and asked in as gentle a manner as possible: “Little girl, are you alright?” and she opened her eyes and said to him: “Sure! I'm fine, I was just daydreaming a bit, nothing to worry about mister.” She was smiling warmly, in a way that was as sunny as the day had been. Her eyes were a shade of hazel.
She remained sitting on the swing, staring at the man. She mashed some anthills into the dirt with her sneakers, and giggled a bit as the ants scattered from the remnants of their homes. “Playing a game of 'torture the ants'?” the man asked her, to which she replied: “It's not really torture, I'm only playing with them is all. You know, I really am okay, you can go now if you were worried about me.” But the man so confessed to her honestly: “I don't really want to go home just yet, myself. It's too nice a day out today, to stay indoors.” And the little girl's eyes went wide and she grinned brightly as she said: “Oh yeah, me too! I mean, that's why I'm here and not heading home just yet.” The man asked her after that: “Would it be okay if I hung out with you here? Since neither of us is in any hurry to go home right now.” And the little girl surprised him greatly by saying: “Sure, why not? You seem nice!” because most people never wanted him around, it seemed. He used to be highly introverted... but found he could open up when he was around children more than he could around adults. It helped him to overcome that introversion the more he talked to and spent time with children. That was why he used to do mentoring... for the kids at the library... and that was how he had met the girl from India who had touched his heart there. He sat on the swing right next to the one the little girl was sitting on, and these swings were big enough for either an adult or a child so that was fine. She looked over at him, and asked: “Give me a push?”. He nodded in agreement and rushed up to give her a push. When his hand touched her back to do this, he realized that this was the first time he had touched someone so young in what seemed to him to be a very long time. She was enjoying this, and soon was swinging with undisguised joy. The man sat back down on his swing to watch her, and he had to admit to himself that he thought she was beautiful as she laughed and smiled and enjoyed herself so innocently. Her black hair was long and wavy, and the way she was tossing it about as she swung to and fro was a pleasant sight to see. Like strands of night, her hair was, defying the tyranny of the day and its' heat. “Come on, you swing too!” she cried out playfully, and he obliged her wishes and it was the first time he swung on these swings since he had been in his twenties. It felt good, and made him forget his troubles for a time. Once both of them became exhausted a bit, the little girl walked over and grabbed the man's arm. “Come on, let's go for a walk!” she said, and he was of a similar mind that a relaxing walk would be just the thing. And in such wonderful company, also! It was more than he had hoped for, truthfully. He stood up, and she put her jacket back on and carried her book bag in her left hand. Her right hand, she put in the man's hand as the pair of them walked off into the woods along one of the nearby trails. “So, what's your name?” he asked the little girl as they strolled along, going nowhere specific. She smiled and looked at the ground ahead of them as she said in that oh so sweet voice she had: “Cassie. What's yours?” and the man said to her: “You can just call me J, that'd be fine.” and she teased him by saying: “That's a letter, not a name! Okay, actually it's a name too if you spell it like j-a-y but if it's just J then that's a letter.” And J explained to her: “It's a letter, I'll admit, but it stands for my name, and to be honest I don't like my name so I prefer it if people just call me J.” Which made sense to the little girl, who admitted: “That does make lots of sense! So yeah, J it is.” So after that the little girl asked: “What's your last name?” to which he responded: “Tell me yours and I'll tel you my own.” She grinned mischievously, and answered: “Nah, I don't want to. So... you don't have to either, if you don't feel like it.” And neither of them divulged their last names to each other. “Hey, mister! How old are you?” the little girl asked, and the man called J told her: “I'm thirty six. What's your age?” and she said to him: “I'm only ten, and you're about my daddy's age.” He chuckled a bit, and told her: “You know, I was close! I thought you were nine, actually.” and she jokingly replied: “What can I say, I look young for my age?” and the two of them laughed as they walked through the woods hand in hand. And neither of them thought it was strange that each was in no hurry to get home despite the hour growing increasingly later. It had to be almost 4:00 if not later by the time they roamed through the woods until they had circled the whole distance of the trail that ran behind the circular road, arriving in the farthest sections of the forest. They had passed all of the fishing landings, sticking to the back trail all that time.
Finally, they reached a place where they had to get unto the road and then off it again, as they passed that sports field mentioned previously and proceeded to venture unto the trails that lay beyond it on its' farthest end. They passed some swampy areas, and places where someone had attempted to use wooden planks as makeshift bridges, and eventually they came to a place where some old rusted cars and other vehicles had been taken into the woods and left to rot in a kind of backwoods junkyard. Past that, they came to where the part of town known as The Plains began. Whatever it actually was called, everybody called it by that name because of all the farmlands and fields out that way. The whole town was full of the typical charm that a great many New England towns possess, with a modern vibrancy that exists in tandem with elements from decades long, long past. The Plains was a part of town that retained a lot of the elements that this town had back in the nineteenth century, and perhaps earlier. The farmlands were an example of that, and though the farms now used modern methods they still looked very much as they had back during those other bygone centuries. There was a back road that ran out of the park and out on through the beginning of The Plains. But Cassie and J did not take that road... instead, opting to go by a lot more remote paths that led them out to the edge of a vast stretch of cornfields that was nestled below the gaze of the great mountain beyond. It was such a remote location that no one could be seen or heard for a great distance in all directions. Though a farmhouse could be seen on the far side of the cornfields. The little girl sat on the ground to catch her breath after so much walking, and J sat down next to her as he put his arm around her and held her close to him. “This is nice!” Cassie said happily. She asked her new companion: “You ever come out this way, J?” and he admitted: “Only once, and that by accident. It was in a bad part of this section of town though, a place where they were growing drugs. I was lucky to get away from there with my life!” then he looked about, and remarked: “But this place here, it's really, really nice I have to admit. I like it very much! It's nice and quiet. And it's nowhere near that bad place.” The little girl reached over and held the man's hands in her own, her eyes gazing into eyes. “You look so kind, but so sad too, like you've been through a whole lot. Want to talk about it?” And he found that he was able to tell her everything, and for a couple of hours he told her his life's story. She said to him after that: “I could... I could try to make you happy, if you like.” and he said to her in response to such an offer: “Sure, I'd like that! What do you have in mind?” and she kissed him on the cheek and said in a sweet tone of voice: “There! Mommy and daddy always kiss me like that and it makes me feel all better when I'm feeling sad.” He kissed her on her cheek, and ran his hand through her hair, feeling how soft it was, and how the tresses of it felt between his fingers. “Can I show you a better way to kiss?” he asked her, and she said: “Okay, sure!” and he told her: “This is how your Mommy and Daddy kiss each other, to make each other feel better.” Following him telling her this, he kissed her lips and mouth and he put his tongue in her mouth and kissed her passionately and lustily. She moaned a bit, but did not attempt to pull away or stop the kiss. Instead... she wiggled her own tongue around, and somehow, she managed to do it right and the kiss between the pair romantically deepened. When the kiss ended and their lips did withdraw from each other, the little girl said: “My older sister kisses her boyfriend like that! I've always wondered what it felt like... but, my parents told me it's yucky for me to think about stuff like that at my age.” J then told her honestly: “It's not yucky, as you can see! In fact, a lot of things they probably told you were not right for someone your age are actually just as enjoyable as that kiss we just shared.” Her eyes widened again, and she asked the man: “Like what? Oh, could you show me maybe! I'd love it, if you showed me stuff like that. My sister gets to have all the fun, all the time, while me I get in trouble if I don't do things like other girls my age. It's not fair!” Then, J held her hands softly in his, tightening his grip on her hands just a little bit as he promised her: “If you really want me to, I'll show you lots of very fun things we can do together that are more for older girls.” She calmed down a bit, having gotten a bit excited at the very prospect of learning these new, adult things. Then, she said innocently: “Okay! I'm ready whenever you are, J. What do you want to show me first?” He so began by kissing her lips again.
Then, he kissed her neck and nibbled her ears a bit, playfully. She gasped a little, and closed her eyes as she took in the new and different sensations this filled her young body with. He ran his hands across her chest, caressing her chest as his hands went along. He felt her soft, tender skin beneath her blouse, and it felt so silky and so sensual to his touch that he found himself becoming aroused. He went back to caressing her hair, and after that he ran his hands over her legs, over her thighs and when they did reach those he squeezed her thighs a bit before placing his hand between her legs and touching her in a place that her parents had told her no one was ever supposed to touch her. She said, to him: “J, my mom and dad both told me if anyone ever touched me down there... I was supposed to yell for help, scream, and kick them really, really hard right where it counts.” He asked her: “Please don't, Cassie! I only want to make you feel good is all.” And she told him in reply: “I know that! I mean, I can tell... so I'm not going to listen to my parents just this once. I saw my sister's boyfriend touching her down there one night, and she really, really was enjoying it lots and lots. I want to find out why! So please J... if you show me why she liked it so much and if I end up liking it too, I'll be so happy.” He then asked her: “Okay, but I want you to promise me you won't tell anybody about the things we're doing together. Promise me, alright?” And she agreed, nodding her head energetically as she said: “Promise! Cross my heart and hope to die.” Then, he went back to feeling her between her legs. All she was ever taught, is that is where a girl pees out of, so she never imagined that someone rubbing her and feeling her like this could feel... like it did. Good is how it felt, but she had no word to describe that, no way of know that good is what this was. It was very, very good though! Even better when he untied her pants and put his hand down them, down her underwear, and she could feel his fingers over her vulva. Oh the things those fingers did, and how it was so different from anything that she had ever felt or experienced before! He did not finger her hole, just yet... but he did touch her, and caress her, and rub her in the delightful ways he knew would bring her pleasure. Even if she was too young to truly understand the meaning of such pleasure. He was hard for her, his cock... his manhood... growing in his pants from the excitement of his playtime with Cassie. He told her to touch him between his legs, and he guided her hand to the bulge in his pants. She asked him what that was, and he told her it was what all boys have between their legs, a penis... but that when a boy is doing things like this with a girl, then his penis gets hard and that is because he likes her a lot. Cassie then admitted: “Your penis is so hard, J! If that's because you like me, then you must like me a whole, whole lot.” His breath was quickening with the excitement of just how wrong and yet just how right all of this truly was, and how good it felt for her hand to be touching his cock. He guided her hand and taught her how to caress him down there. He then undid the drawstring of his own pants... and after that pulled them down along with his underwear. She saw his penis, erect between his legs, and he took her hand and placed it over it. He then told her just how to squeeze it, pleasurably but not too hard, and taught her just how to stroke it and jerk it... after a bit, he asked her to kiss it, and then told her to put it into her mouth and to slide her mouth up and down upon it. Whilst she was doing this, he asked her to lick it with her tongue and suck on it gently, which she did... not really knowing what it was she was in the process of doing. But, she did it all the same, and by the smile upon J's face she was doing it very, very perfectly and well. He then said to her: “Now I'm going to show you how your parents show love to each other when nobody else is around, when they're in their bedroom together while you're asleep.” To which she asked him, taking a break from sucking upon his cock to do so... clearing her throat a bit before speaking: “Is it more stuff like the things we've been doing?” and he told her that it was, but that it was even better. She got very excited and admitted to him: “I like everything we've been doing so far, so I just know I'll like this stuff too. When do we get started?” and he had her take off her jacket and lay it flat upon the ground. Then, he pushed her back unto it, instructing her to lay on her back on her jacket as he did so. He pulled her pants off, and then slid her underwear off after that. He asked her to spread her legs apart as far as she could, and he helped her to do that too... pushing them apart, with his hands.
He then took his fully erect cock, and began to insert it up into her cunt. He pushed it inward, trying to be as careful as he could not to hurt her in any way... and it was a tight, very tight fit. He could only fit just so much of his manhood into her without doing her serious harm due to her young age and the size of his penis compared to her little girl's hole... but it was enough, and it would do nicely. He began to fuck her, pushing in and out of her faster and faster but not too fast. In the course of this penetration, the little girl felt something between her legs tear and she could feel the blood of her broken hymen as that blood flowed forth from her stolen virginity. “Oh, ow, ow ow that really, really hurts!” she cried, in a shrill but thankfully not too loud of a manner. J told her: “I know it does... it always does for the very first time honey! It's okay, it's okay... it'll get better. This is only because you've never done this before.” He asked her to try and keep her voice down, so she sobbed a bit in a more quiet way, her tears flowing from her eyes. He knew she was in pain from losing her virginity this early in life, and he wished there was a way to do this without causing her any pain at all... but such was simply not possible. Her crying turned to moaning after a while, and during the course of his ravishment of the child he soon reached the point of climax and shot the full load of his orgasm, into her no longer virgin cunt. Once he made sure it was all inside her, he pulled out of her and kissed her cheek tenderly. Then, he wiped her tears away, and she said to him through her tears and pain: “Why did you hurt me? I thought it was going to feel good!” And he said to her softly: “I know, I know... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry it hurt. But, when a girl loses her virginity, it does hurt sweetheart. That's just how it is. As you get older, and the more you do this with someone, the less it will hurt and the better it will feel. And you will never bleed like this ever again, that only happens the very, very first time ever. Which for you, this was!” She had glanced down and saw the blood during the course of her ravishment, and that had made her feel very scared. “So, it'll stop bleeding and hurting?” and he promised her: “Yes, darling! Of course it will.” And as they did lay there together for three or four long hours, it did indeed stop bleeding even as the pain began to finally go away as well. “I think my jacket's going to be ruined.” the girl said, and her lover said to her in reply to that: “Just blame one of the local boys for the whole mess. Pick a guy who kind of looks like me but isn't, and tell your parents he raped you. Who's ever going to know the truth?” The little girl said to the man: “I wish I could go home with you and live with you. I hate my parents! They like to hit me and my father beats me whenever I do something bad. If he thinks I had... sex, as my sister calls it... he'll likely kill me. I'm not even kidding, he'll literally really honest to goodness kill me!” And the man thought on back to the loss of his first love, and how she had been murdered by her father. He could not bear it, if the same fate were to befall this sweet child! He asked her, curious to know: “How did you know what this was called, that it's called sex?” The little girl explained: “Like I said... my sister calls it that, and I saw her, I saw her doing it with her boyfriend! Like, on several occasions. Okay? They did it sometimes when he pulled up in his convertible and she got in the car with him. I had... an idea... of what you were going to do to me, I just didn't know it was going to hurt. I guess my sister must have done it a lot for it to feel good like it does for her.” J then inquired: “How old is your sister?” and Cassie replied: “Oh she is a lot older than me... she's fifteen, and I think I heard daddy say once that her first time was when she was thirteen. He was really mad at her, when that happened! So mad, he dragged her into his room and whatever he did to her in there... she was only wearing some of her clothes when she came out. Do you think he spanked her, or something? Her blouse was open... and she was missing her bra and her skirt.” He honestly told her upon hearing that: “I think... I think he had sex with her, Cassie. And I think that, maybe, you shouldn't go back there to them. Do you have any relatives who could take you in and keep you away from your mom and dad?” The little girl then said: “I used to, but it was a very long time ago and I haven't visited them in an even longer time. Want me to show you where they live? It's a long way off from here... and it looks like it's nighttime now... but I'm feeling better enough that a walk wouldn't be a problem.” She did appear to be feeling a lot better, and it looked like a beautiful night for a walk.
The pair dressed themselves once again, and the little girl picked up her jacket and carried it under her left arm whilst holding J's hand with her right hand. She was no longer mad at him, and was happy that he had explained to her the reason for the pain she had experienced during the loss of her virginity. She couldn't imagine ever doing it... having sex... with any other man though. A part of her was starting, just beginning, to fall in love with J, and she wished with all her heart that she could be with him. And if the truth were to be told, he felt the same way about her. They walked along back paths and winding roads, the summer night bringing with it the sound of crickets and the appearance of fireflies, in all the fields and near some of the woods. “If anybody asks, just tell them you're my daddy.” she told J as they took several roads that were well off the usual ways that either of them normally walked. She knew nobody would, after all down these particular roads no one she knew ever traveled... and for his part, J was not used to this direction they were heading off in. She said to him quite out of the blue after some time of their walking like this: “I wish we could get married, but I'm too young. Mom always said you're only supposed to do things like what we did together after you get married and only to someone you love.” J confessed to her: “I think I am starting to fall in love with you, Cassie.” and she admitted to him: “And I think I feel the same way about you, J.” They then stopped by the roadside on the edge of some farms on the outskirts of town and there under the moon's light and beneath countless stars... they shared once more a passionate kiss. He had to bend down a bit to kiss her, and she had to stretch a bit to reach him, but they managed it and enjoyed the experience. No one was around, to see them do this... so they took their time and did not rush to cease the kiss once they felt it deepening. After it was over, they kept on walking and the little girl told her beloved exactly where she wanted them to go, which roads to take... and which directions those roads went in. “It isn't too far off, honest!” she proclaimed at one point. “I know, I know... I said that a while back too, but truly we're nearly there. My relatives live not far from where we're at right now.” At first she had walked very unsteadily, but during the course of all the long walking she and J did after their lovemaking... she was regaining her strength and feeling back to more than a semblance of her old self once again. They were presently on the border between this town and a neighboring village that exists as a part of a much larger city that lies to the north of it. How long it was that they had been walking, neither of them could guess... but it had to have been well after midnight by the time they reached where they were at the moment. All that movement caused Cassie to bleed just a bit further now and then, and every once in a while the pain came back only to go away once more. But in spite of all that, she felt a rush of energy within her, and perhaps that was due to the love she felt in her heart for the man at her side. Even as wrong as it was that they felt as they did for each other in the eyes of the law... they were, regardless of that, extremely happy. Soon afterwards, they reached a place where an old house that appeared long abandoned sat by the roadside, surrounded by wild looking trees, and hedges grown too high and thick to be reasonable. No car was in the driveway... and the garage had the appearance of having not been used in decades. Cassie stopped in her tracks, as she pointed over to the house, and declared cheerily: “This is the place! That's where my relatives live... like I said, it's been a very, very long time since I've seen them.” That house was not merely appearing as if it had been long abandoned, it actually was... the front door was all boarded up, and all of the windows of the house had wooden boards in place of the actual windows themselves. The condition of the house, was such that it had a distinct appearance of having at one point survived a terrible fire. Which likely accounted for the windows all being broken, as well as the glass that once was upon the door being missing. The glass of every window in the house would have been broken outwards by such a blaze... or by anyone trying to escape from such an inferno. Cassie called out to the house, called the names of her relatives, but none of them answered her. J turned to the little girl and said to her grimly: “Cassie... I don't think that they're living here anymore.” Nobody was. But the little girl was insistent, claiming: “No, J, you're wrong! You can see the lights on in the house, right? And the car is right there in the driveway, too. This is... weird!”
She was seeing the house as it used to be, not as it was now. “Cassie, what year do you think it is?” J asked her, and she seemed to have trouble recalling the year. He told her truthfully: “It is 2010, Cassie.” She screamed when he told her that. “No, it... it can't be 2010! No, when I fell asleep while visiting my relatives it was... it was... I think the year on the calendar on the wall said it was 1984.” J then told the child the simple truth. He said to her: “1984? I was ten years old myself back in that year! Honey, I do honestly hate to break it to you but... it honestly is 2010 now, and that house doesn't look like you think it does anymore. It's abandoned now, and it looks like there was a fire that happened there. A bad fire!” to which Cassie explained: “It was early June, school had just gotten out... I was late getting home, so instead of going home to my parents I came here to stay with my relatives and think about what I was going to do next. I was scared my dad was going to beat the crap out of me for getting home so late, and I asked my aunt and uncle to smooth things over with my parents for me. They promised they'd just call them up on the phone that night and make things okay so that the next day they could take me on home without me having to be afraid. I fell asleep early that night because I was tired from walking so far. It got really, really hot... during the night... and I had a weird nightmare that I woke up surrounded by fire, and flames, and everything was dark and smoky and my aunt and uncle were screaming. I tried to wake up from that nightmare, but I couldn't! There was so much smoke I couldn't breathe, and I passed out in the dream from the heat, and the smoke, filling up my lungs. When I woke up, I was... I was...” and she realized the truth then, at last. It had not been a nightmare, and she never did wake up from that dream. “Cassie... where is your house... where do your parents live?” asked J, and she said to him truthfully: “I can't remember anymore... I was never able to find it again, and every day I go back to the woods at the park and to the playground where you met me. I play there for a while just like I did on that day back in 1984, but everyone who goes there always acts like they can't see me for some reason. Then I walk for a long time... and I think I fall asleep or something because I dream that I'm in a strange place that isn't of this world at all, it's like something out of a weird movie. And, when I wake up, I feel like I need to just go back to the park and do everything all over again. I must have been doing this for... a lot of years, it seems! Oh my God! J, this means I'm... I'm...” And he said to her what she could not say: “You're dead, sweetheart, and a spirit now. A ghost! But even so... I love you.” She said to him with tears in her eyes, her voice quivering with terror: “Oh, J... I love you too, I love you too! But I... I think I need to go, the other place, the weird place I always see in my dreams or whatever they are, it's calling to me again and this time I don't think it'll ever let me leave it again. But, I don't want to go there, I just want... I want to be with you, I want to come and live with you.” He then said to her truly: “That place is where the dead go when their time comes to do so, and it is where you need to be! One day... someday... I, will go there also, and we will meet once again. So wait for me, Cassie! However long the wait must be... since such a wait will only be until the end of my life. And, a single lifetime is never as long as we should prefer it to be.” She told him after hearing him explain that to her: “I know... I don't know how, or why, I know... but I know that everything you just told me is the truth. J... I'll wait for you I promise. On the other side, in that other world, I'll be waiting! Apparently, a single lifetime can be very short sometimes. But I hope you live longer, and happier, than I did. Thank you though... thank you... for letting me experience what it's like to know love like a grown woman does.” And they embraced once more, and kissed one final, passionate time... and when that final kiss ended, the little girl faded into thin air like the ghost she was. J was crying, sobbing, at having to let her go into the other world beyond life's confines. He was alone again, and when he turned around he saw only a vacant lot where that old house was a moment before. His gift of spiritual sight had allowed him to see it as it once was before it had been torn down, though it was not enough to show him how it was before the tragic fire had claimed it. Cassie could only see it that way, and when she crossed over into the afterlife that awaited her... J could not see the old house of her aunt and uncle at all any longer. He began the long trek back to his home town, his heart very heavy.
Upon the way, his body feeling wearing from the lengthy walk that had consumed most of his day and a good portion of his night... in between the pleasant time he had spent with poor, tragic Cassie... he did in no great haste though in a great desire to get home and rest, finally arrive back in the familiar parts of town wherein his home, the house of his family, was. It was sometime after midnight for certain, and no means of knowing just how much after the witching hour it was, was at hand. J had never worn a watch when he went out, and he had not worn one since his school days. He disliked any and all reminders of the time, and he preferred to imagine on most days that time had no power over him and no important meaning for him. When he had to know the hour, that was one thing... but for the most part, he felt as if it was a morbid reminder of the fleetingness of mortal life. It was not that he longed for immortality, or that he disliked that time passed... it was that he wished more oft than not that he could pause time and cease its' passing whenever he knew moments of happiness. Because those moments, for him, were but precious few in number and he never wanted to let go of them. It was not enough for something to live on in his memories, he wanted the happy times to continue without end for all eternity. And in that way, perhaps it was the only kind of immortality he craved... the immortality of happiness. He was brooding heavily on these matters as he finally caught sight of the pond and the familiar streets that ran through the areas surrounding it that indicated he was almost home. He lived only two streets away from it, that pond, and once there he would go to his bedroom and fall into a sleep born from exhaustion and a very slight but unpleasant sensation of depression. There was a splendid wooden gazebo in a small stretch of park area that so existed between the long street that ran in front of the pond and the far shorter street as did lead to the adjoining street on which J's house was. Sitting in the gazebo was a girl who could have easily been the twin of Cassie. Noticing that J was staring at her whilst passing by, she yelled out to the man before he was too far past: “Hey, mister! Come over here a minute, will you?” and he did as she so asked. She was alone in that gazebo and there was nobody else around or even out and about at such a late hour. He asked her: “Hello little girl! What do you want?” And he said that with caring rather than with the annoyance some adults add to “What do you want?” when speaking to children. She said unto him in reply: “I can't find one of my sneakers, I think I lost it in the bushes nearby... could you help me look for it?” and he agreed to do so. Upon finding it, he placed it on her foot, and she said to him: “I'm not supposed to be out this late, and my parents are probably going to kill me in the morning! I know it is going to sound really, really loony but... if you live nearby, can I stay the night with you?” He nodded in agreement, and said to her: “Sure thing, come along! It's just right up that street... over there.” and he did point to the street he was referring to. She put her hand in his, and had in her other hand a book bag and her jacket. He offered to carry her book bag for her, and she let him. J then so asked the child: “So, what's your name? As for me, you can just call me J.” She had one of those delighted expressions happy children oft have playing about their face in the best of times. And, in such spirits, she said unto J: “My name's Casey.” and then she stared up at him and asked curiously: “Why do I have a feeling like we met someplace before? It's really weird!” and he gazed into her eyes lovingly as they continued along, right away saying to her in answer to her question: “It is weird! But in a good way. Who knows... maybe we did meet someplace before, in another life?” He knew it was Cassie reincarnated, and came to the very reasonable realization that the ghost he had been with, for so many hours... was a residual spirit that had split off from Cassie when she died, becoming its' own entity in the process. Whilst the rest of her spirit had gone on and reincarnated in the form of Casey. With that ghost having been laid to rest, so to speak, it was remarkable that in the same night J should have encountered the girl whose living body had in it the rest of Cassie's spirit. It was remarkable, seemingly impossible, but delightful all the same. She did smile in such a peculiar way that it seemed as if she realized this man was far more than familiar to her. But J did not realize, that Cassie had not entered into the afterlife... she reunited with the remainder of her spirit in Casey's body, drawn to it by the powers that be. That night... they would fall in love, again.
Published 29th Oct 2023
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