Dear Life

Dear life, you might hesitate as I have something to ask you
I know its been a while since I considered ending you but I think you might still be angry
I've been thinking that we need to converge
Cause you will end one day and I want to get the best out of you
I'm not sure why we are together which might explain my attitude to you
But I feel I will miss an important step if we don't talk
So life, is there anything you want?
I'm not really sure how you communicate
I feel you most when you are at risk of being extinguished
I spend a lot of time with people who want to end their relationship with their life
Well, that's what they say
And I've talked about that so often  
Perhaps I have become complacent
But I have you
And you have me
I think I am prone to fantasy
And this creates a distance between us
I'm not sure why that is, either
I'm hiding from some truth
Or
I just need a rest from you sometimes
I just don't want to be untrue to you
Because you will end me
It kinda makes me sad
Although I will enjoy the rest
But who are you?
I mean, why are we together?
How can we communicate?
You are there
There isn't a doubt like god
I see you being extinguished everywhere
That also seems a little like fantasy
And it is
Because the life extinguished is other peoples'
And that's not you
You're mine, my life, the one that I answer to
So, I keep asking the question
What do you want
Do you have expectations of me?
Do I need to deliver some standard of living
I often feel like I'm failing
But what does this relate to?
Is it you
Or some societal expectation
Perhaps these are my standards
I suppose I don't really understand myself
I am lost in my being
Always questioning and breaking molds
Who am I? I guess is the question
Could I be nothing until something, or is there a something to be?