fair games

she wanted a corn dog
I lobbied for a funnel cake
narrowed eyes, pouted lips
thats all this good old boy could take

she said, hold up there cowboy
this cowgirl has changed her mind
mama’s thinking two of them long things
is gonna fill her up just fine

after fetching her mustard and ketchup
she left a yellow-ish kiss on my cheek
I asked if she needed more napkins
she snarked, have we screwed this week

right, who needs powdered sugar fingers
sucked clean by plump lips
when the aroma of sweet fried cornmeal
wafts up from concealed itchy bits

a wink from her wandering eye
and it was time to rush this beauty
to the cozy confines of the parking lot
up in my F-250, she deserved heavy duty

I thought she only had eyes for me
but her wandering one spied fried snickers
I knew when they said some’s in the fryer
there’d be a hold on getting in her knickers

next was a big old sour pickle
cotton candy and Jell-O shots thrown back
and after the 1st pound of fudge
I blacked out or lost track

Monday morning picking my buddy up for work
climbing in he let out a: woooo-eee!!!
chocolate, peanuts and corn dog sticks
sure looks like somebody got lucky….

I said hold on there compadre
it’s not all as romantic as it looks
my sweet thang had a slight hitch
and all didn’t go quite by the books

I finally got her loaded into the truck
splayed out and easing down her panties
she was cooing ride ‘em cowboy
as I was about to get me some titties

when this gawd awful rumble
came from deep inside her nethers
then a smell came circling up that I swear
would a made chickens shed their feathers

I was feeling hero til she got dirty mean
said I’d ruined her best lucky undies
cause I cut them up as plugs, praying
at least one of us lives to see Sunday