Not ready to die yet

I am not ready to die yet.
There’s  this beautiful magnolia tree
wildly blossoming outside
my kitchen window
and my beautiful animals
still need feeding and caring for.
And by giving then the love they desire
and by giving so freely to others
I too feel nurtured and cherished
The pain that happened can’t steal my hope anymore.

It’s a hard concept to grasp but
even after struggling  
with anxiety,depression and PTSD
I am only just now learning
not to let my pain and battlewounds define me.

Just like the magnolia
I can’t blossom all year
yet I still grasp tightly hopes hand.
And I see her, you know, I really do
even through the morning dew
cradled like a swaddled baby
where the ocean meets the sun at the horizon.

And my heart knows
between each pink flower
waiting to blossom
I still have opportunities to learn, grow and be authentically me.