quell

 
sadness quells the madness for a moment
it insinuates itself into my emotions
a heavy cloud brewing with feeling
sorrow swirls in the now
I can feel the descent
into the fogginess of pine

my mood alters considerably because of lack of focus
I can't concentrate on any one thing
I lack control in these sessions of doubt
I look over my life with trepidation
fear cloys my soul and I feel suffocated

weep for the day
keen for tomorrow
I don't know where I will land
it presses on me daily
but my mental health assures me of one thing
it's out of my power

fate sees me humbled
a prisoner of happenstance
I could lose it all to a bad bout of mania
who knows where I will land
it is the fear of not knowing
the knowledge I could lose my mind
and not come back this time

it's happened many times with a minimum of damage
I don't know if I could take it again

anxiety clings to my stomach
crippling my future
offering little hope
I'm losing my grip