For you

I'd like to explain my doubt, my insecurity.
I am impatient inside, feigning obscurity.

For what seemed like the longest time,
I had a doll, a lovely subconscious mime.

I loved that feminine chew toy, beyond her wall.
Sitting in a hospital bed, hoping I was her's to call.

Our love was intrinsic, it seemed
Peaceful, gold-plated, metallic milk-weed.

A naive young boy. A feigning, sour girl.
Pretty little doll coiled me up. Vanilla Caramel Swirl.

I never knew what it meant to love, only to fear
Afraid my whole life, I took a chance,
Between poorly soldered ears.

I felt warmed in her translucent, manifested sun rays.
I breached her gold plating, and found the most vibrant maze.

Although eluding my eyes, I cried "I will never give up"
"Neither will I, Ryan. Even through the deepest of muck."

But when all was low, the tides grew dry
I slept in a prison, bound by my own stubborn sigh.

Like prison sex, a decision easily made next.
Broke my passionate heart, an easily solved hex.

A rage consumed my heart and still has a grasp.
And now I've met you. A holy grail? Or an emotionless asp...

Do you have Venom? Or do you hold a soulful addendum?
I admire, no my heart transpires when you tell me
Of your inherent, self seeking desires.

More than anything... I want to see you for you.
My impatience thrives in a place where doves may coo,
where dust gathers at my shoes, windows I can't see through.

So this is for you. I hate to be so forward, love to be true.
I feel as if I have changed through sounding cues, fearing,
but learning not to keep such eager tears.

So this is for you, my fair-eyed, silver tongued friend.
Our words are all we have at this point, but I promise,
They are not all I will send.

So this is for you.